A young dance music fan, who unfortunately left his iPhone at home, has sulked about how he is now incapable of enjoying a DJ set at his local club, owing to the fact that he can’t take videos, pics or post updates on social media.
Nick Lee, who is spending the gig petulantly sulking in the back of the room enviously watching his peers take shaky handed videos of the DJ looking at a laptop, said he left the house in a hurry without doing the “wallet-keys-phone” pocket check and as a result left his phone at home.
“The gig’s ruined,” he moaned. “What am I supposed to do now that I can’t video it?” asked the beleaguered Nick who looked visibly fidgety and kept reaching down to his right hand pocket where his phone should be. “No-one on Facebook will even know I was here now,” continued Nick who said he would probably just go home early rather than try to enjoy the real experience by dancing and interacting with people.
“Hopefully someone at the gig will upload a video of it onto Youtube so the night won’t be a total waste,” confided Nick. “It’s just next to impossible to enjoy a gig without a phone. I get bored standing there and watching the DJ through my own stupid eyes and not through the intermediary of a small screen.”
This isn’t the first social event that has been ruined due to forgetting his phone claimed Nick, who says that a recent dinner date with friends was “an absolute disaster” after he forgot his phone rendering him unable to take “flatteringly lit photographs of random plates of food”.
“I couldn’t touch a thing,” he continued. “I just don’t see the point in eating anything unless you’re going to publish a picture of that food to your Instagram. I couldn’t even check into the impressively expensive restaurant on Facebook, thereby ruining the very reason I went there.”
It is believed that Nick will “eventually find the strength” to get over his ordeal and that he plans to in future “make sure that [he] is never without a means of recording his entire existence by surgically grafting a Google glass to [his] face” so that he never misses out on a second of life.
Original article written by Stu of Wunderground.
Calm down. This is a satirical article.