Man Takes Too Much Molly, Steals Ambulance And Wanks In Police Station

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Man Takes Too Much Molly, Steals Ambulance And Wanks In Police Station Sortland web thumb

Colorado State University student, Stefan Sortland, had a bad trip.

18-year old Sortland, was charged with aggravated vehicle theft, reckless driving, hit-and-run, criminal mischief, attempted motor vehicle theft, unlawful possession of a controlled substance and assault.

We’re guessing that the criminal mischief was the masturbating bit.

It was reported by Fox News that Sortland was being treated for seizures by medical professionals after taking a mixture of MDMA and cocaine at a concert. After the treatment Sortland stole the medic’s ambulance and crashed it.

Police tracked the stolen vehicle using a GPS device that was on board, when they found him the student was wearing a medic’s vest, wrapped in a blanket and eating “Wheat Thins”.

The responding officers tried to reason with Sortland but he resisted which led them to shoot him with a stun gun. Afterwards they took him down to the station where he “stood on a bench, kicked the wall and masturbated,” according to the police report.

Later in an interview with the police Sortland is reported to have said: “his friends/roommates were dead, in heaven and had committed suicide,” according to Fox 8 News.

But it doesn’t stop there, as Sortland was being taken to jail he apologized for his actions. But just a few hours later he attacked officers that were bringing him lunch.

And that kids, is why you don’t do drugs.