Orlando Bloom Publishes ‘Sex Tape’ After His Famous Penis Shots

By : Neelam TailorTwitterLogo

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We know you Googled those photos of Orlando Bloom.

A majestic Bloom paddled his girlfriend Katy Perry, legs spread, chin up, and with nothing but a baseball cap on.

His insecurity-inducing cock flapped like a wind sock in the Sardinian breeze for the whole world to see…and we did.

Despite the Pirates of the Caribbean star’s initial embarrassment, Bloom ‘turned the other cheek’ to the photos…

In a wonderfully self-deprecating, but also media-mocking way, Orlando posted this literal roll of tape with the word ‘sex’ on it.

my sex tape 📹

A photo posted by orlandobloom (@orlandobloom) on

He teased the voyeuristic peepers of the press with the cheeky caption on his newly public Instagram.

Another piss-taking video was put up, captioned “when you are chasing down the guy who stole your swimming trunks”.

when you are chasing down the guy who stole your swimming trunks

A video posted by orlandobloom (@orlandobloom) on

Many people speculated that the photos were a publicity stunt to plug Katy Perry’s new album, or to re-ignite Bloom’s dwindling media presence.

Seth Rogan told his hilarious theory to the Sun:

I think the philosophy might be: ‘It’s a competitive market, I’m Orlando Bloom, I’ve been great for years but you know what, there are all these new kids out there — the Jamie Dornan’s of the world coming up — maybe I gotta show my d*** to make people remember Orlando Blooms is a f***ing OG.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t more inclined to put him in something now that I saw he has a great d**.

Either way, we have thoroughly enjoyed the exhibitionism and I have been inspired to try naked paddle-boarding.


Credits

Joe

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