WARNING: Do not look at this article in work, there are boobs incoming…
Science has settled the age old question of what the perfect pair of boobs look like, apparently.
London-based plastic surgeon Patrick Mallucci has spent the last five years sweating over the mathematical formula for the ideal set of breasts. And eureka! He’s found it.
Well, it’s a hard job, but someone’s got to do it…
Having struck up his theory, he’s had it ‘proved’ by a study recently published in the official medical journal of the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, the Daily Mirror reported.
Basically, nearly 1,500 people were shown images of different breast shapes. The participants were across many ages, genders and nationalities, and there was a large majority consensus on what made the perfect pair.
Time for science to tell us the four categories that make for the most magnificent mammaries.
1. The maths
The magic ratio between the volume in the upper and lower part of the breast is 45 per cent upper half, 55 per cent lower half.
Surprisingly, the study found that a globe-like 50/50 ratio – popularly strived for by cosmetic surgeons – was less aesthetically pleasing than a breast that was ever so slightly bottom heavy.
2. A smooth slope up top
The rounded shape on the upper-part of the boob, so regularly found in women with large implants, is unattractive to the eye, the study found.
The preferred slope from chest to nipple, side-on, is either a straight slope or a very slight outward curve.
3. Nipples pointing skyward
Apparently, nipples shouldn’t be pointing down, or even straight ahead, but upwards. Though not too much, an elevation of around 20 degrees is just right. Jeez, we humans don’t ask for much, do we?
4. Sag is an absolute no-no
This is unlikely to come as a shock to any of us: the contour running down from the nipple to the chest should be a smooth, tight curve. Sag is out, no matter what the size of the boobs, according to the research.
Mr Mallucci said: “Nice breasts are nice breasts, irrespective of size. Take Kate Moss for instance, she is small but she has the ideal proportions.”
Thanks, science! But here at UNILAD we advocate equal opportunities for all breasts, no matter what direction the nipples are pointing.