Spiderman Can Only Be White And Straight According To Leaked Sony-Marvel Contract

By : Rebecca KnightTwitterLogo

0 Shares
0
Shares



pparker fb Spiderman Can Only Be White And Straight According To Leaked Sony Marvel ContractCDN

Remember those Wiki leaks? Yeah, well they’re back with a bang after a Marvel-Sony contract about Spiderman hit the internet.

According to the filmmakers, the superhero, who is also known as Peter Parker, cannot be anything other than white and straight, because, you know, these are the times we live in apparently.

Advertisement

Oh, and despite having to save the world and hide a secret identity, he can’t have a cheeky tequila. At all. Ever.

smg Spiderman Can Only Be White And Straight According To Leaked Sony Marvel Contract

So, in case you were wondering and wanted the whole list, here is what Spiderman can and cannot be:

•He is male.

•He does not deliberately torture. He does not deliberately kill humans other than in defense of self or others. [Note: This term does not apply to actions attributable to the black symbiote suit, provided the forgoing activity is undertaken while in the black/symbiote suit]

Advertisement

•He does not use foul language beyond what is permitted in a PG-13 rated film.

•He does not smoke tobacco. [Note: This term does not apply to actions attributable to the black symbiote suit, provided the forgoing activity is undertaken while in the black symbiote suit]

•He does not use or sell/distribute illegal drugs. [Note: This term does not apply to actions attributable to the black symbiote suit, provided the forgoing activity is undertaken while in the black symbiote suit]

•He does not abuse alcohol. [Note: This term does not apply to actions attributable to the black symbiote suit provided the forgoing activity is undertaken while in the black symbiote suit]

Advertisement

•He does not engage in sexual relations before the age of 16 or with anyone below the age of 16.

•He is not homosexual unless the Spider-Man Character portrayed in the Production is an Alternative Spider-Man Character that is portrayed as homosexual in New Authorized Works.

So there you have it. Sony will be getting their order of white pointy hats and KKK membership any day now.


Credits

daily dot

Comments