Is this gentrification gone bat shit crazy? McDonald’s has enlisted the help of top chefs to create a signature selection of burgers for its ‘discerning diners’.
Ever fancied a Michelin-starred maccies? No, me neither. But this latest move by the beloved fast-food chain is trying to attract burger connoisseurs from far and wide to sample their new, premium burgers over the likes of higher-end burger gaffs Five Guys and Shake Shack.
But for those hoping for a bit of wagyu beef or truffle, table service, and a massaged ego, you’ll be bitterly disappointed. It’s just Michelin-standard chefs (apparently), who are involved in the development and launch of a new ‘posh’ burger menu. This isn’t just any burger, this is a McDonald’s burger.
All we know about these burgers so far is that they’ll be the biggest patties ever made by the chain, cost £4.69, and will be topped with a fucking brioche bun, just like every other twat, dick and Harry seems to be doing these days. The burger giant is taking advantage of its new table service system, with customers having to wait longer than your standard Big Mac. This is the good news that keeps on giving!
You can imagine it now, a McDonald’s tasting menu, comprised of an amuse bouche of one chicken nugget with a trio of dips… then the fish course – actually, better skip that- no one really eats a filet-o-fish, do they? Then straight onto a signature burger with fancy fries and McFlurry for the dessert course (obvs). What a treat.
The new burgers will be trialled at 28 restaurants in London, the south, and Manchester, before being rolled out to 400 restaurants next summer. Nice to see the chain recognises the Northern Powerhouse as just Manchester, for fuck sake. The Manchester outlet might as well stock the Northern Powerhouse Deluxe with a sauce made up of George Osborne’s tears and shattered dreams.
If these burgers prove popular in the UK, they plan to roll it out around the world, as they are facing growing competition from more gourmet burger joints.
McDonald’s food development director (wait, they have one of those?) Duncan Cruttenden told The Guardian that the burgers had been developed with the help of customers and chef council.
At McDonald’s we are committed to listening to our customers and evolving our menu to offer something for everyone. When the chef council started to develop this new premium offering, we worked with a brief generated by our customers – they told us they wanted thicker beef patties and high quality ingredients, freshly prepared. We’ve crafted a range that is a truly exciting permanent addition to our menu – every product has to earn a place and our customers have told us the signature collection has done just that.
How does that old saying go? You can’t polish a turd…