Getting to the end of your tether with your other half, but don’t want to deal with the grief of dumping them? Well, these guys can help you out…
The Breakup Shop, based in the U.S., will dump your unwanted boyfriends or girlfriends for a small fee. The custom breakup letter (how thoughtful of you), will only set you back £20 or £13 if you’re okay with a standard letter.
Or if you couldn’t give zero fucks and have no shame, you can also opt for a breakup text or email (so 2005), for just £6.50. Bargain!
If you wanted to stay classy, you could ruin your partners life by buying a custom call made at a time if your choice with a breakup message of your choice, created by their “expert breakup team”. But you’ve only got one minute to carry out the dirty deed.
But if you wanted this done straight away, I’m afraid we have some bad news for you… It takes three days to go through. So if you couldn’t stand another 72 hours of relationship you’d better man up and do a breakup like a normal person.
If you feel a little bit guilty about the whole ordeal you can even pick something from the Gifts for Exes collection and have it delivered with a handcrafted note. If you don’t have a breakup budget you can even splash out on gift pack for a little over £50.
The highlights of the pity box are either The Notebook Blu-ray or Call of Duty: Ghosts video game, a Netflix gift card, rainbow cookies and wine glasses. What a treat.
You can even transform a gift box into a “memory oven”- think of them as a time capsule you can dump all your memories from the relationship inside to be stowed away or to be burnt to a cinder. I know which option i’d prefer.
And according to The Breakup Shop, all its gift boxes can be repurposed as “memory ovens”, time capsules you can dump your memories from the relationship inside either to be stowed away for when you get over it, or to be burnt to a crisp.
For those hoping for a quick fix in the UK, this has yet to be released outside the U.S., but there are hopes of bringing it across the pond in the near future.
For some people out there, I bet this couldn’t come soon enough…