First we had the thigh gap, followed by the sideboob and then the underboob.
Now, make way for the latest ridiculous new body part fashion trend: collarboning.
Collarboning is the when ill-advised ‘celebrities’ throw on a jacket in a nonchalant but oh-so contrived manner, allowing said item of clothing to drape off their shoulders, revealing their collarbones, as modelled by famous nobody, Kylie Jenner.
The calibre of celebrity we millennials are supposed to admire these days has dropped to previously unseen levels of stupidity, as it becomes clear that none of these people can dress themselves.
Elite Daily has theorised that collar-boning is all to do with the pursuit of skinniness.
Masters of logic as they are, these public figures have figured out that they’ll look thinner than they actually are if they only show off the parts of their bodies with practically zero fat on them; hence shoulders and collar bones.
Collar-boning is not an unfamiliar term: remember when the fun police kicked off about American students and their new method of taking shots from a girls’ collarbone?
No, us neither. But this new manifestation of collar-boning is a lot less fun but about equally fucking annoying.
The drinking game and the fashion trend have one pivotal thing in common: they both perpetrate the idea that skinny is good and fat is bad (although I’m still not sure that being slim and having collarbones are even mutually exclusive – I know plenty of people deemed to be overweight who have a full and functioning human skeleton, they just don’t brag about it to their millions of lemmings on Instagram).
On the great spectrum that is humanity, in all our shapes and sizes, we don’t need this deceitful and vain new trend from the so-called role models of a generation.
As Ariana Grande here demonstrates, if you show off your collarbone people won’t even notice you hiding your face.
I love the smell of collar bones and coffee in the morning, don’t you, Emily Ratajowski?
Despite earning an obscene amount of money to model clothes, Kendall Jenner seems to be unable to keep her coat on.
The worst culprit of them all, Kylie Jenner, professional sister to the Kardashians literally has no clue how to get dressed in the morning.
Yet another model who seems to not understand which bit of your anatomy jackets should cover. Hint, Bella Hadid: it’s your shoulders.
Here is Creative Director of sportswear company Puma and pop diva, Rihanna demonstrating how not to wear one of her jackets.
Selena Gomez’s shoulders have now become so redundant, she can’t even wear a swimsuit like a normal person.
We see you, famous nobodies, we see your collarbones and we see through your fashion-elitism-disguised-as-seasonal-dressing and we call bullshit.
Winter is coming, guys, so don’t try this at home. The secret’s out and you’ll only look like a dickhead.