Apparently there are nine types of breasts.
All equal in beauty but they each have their own individual features.
Personally, I think there’s one type missing…’absent’ (I’m not bitter about the A cup).
There used to be seven according to lingerie experts ThirdLove, who sell bras according to specific shapes as oppose to generic sizes, but they have recently added the ‘athletic’ and ‘relaxed’ types.
This is pretty self explanatory, and it is extremely normal to have one breast bigger than the other.
I guess this is one the added in when they realised they had forgotten us feeble-breasted folk. Nothing wrong with it! Keira Knightley rocks the athletic boobs.
Hmm which type does Kate Upton have?
Like a bell, if they are slimmer at the top and wider at the bottom.
…Cue Anita Ward Ring My Bell.
This is a new type which makes it sound like the breasts have sort of given up. ThirdLove describe them as having lax tissue and downward pointing nipples.
I’m thinking Emily Ratajkowski has those ‘perfection’ breasts that don’t exist anywhere else.
The hilarious name just means that your nipples are not friends so face away from each other. Better than pointing towards each other.
I call them porn star boobs. Being equally full at the top and bottom makes these incredibly bouncy and perky.
Similar to round, but slightly less full at the top. They do have a tendency to bring people to tears.
They look like they need to come up for air.
Slender breasts are thin and have the nipples pointing downwards.
Last but not least are the side set boobs which have a wide gap in between them.
So there we have it, all the boob knowledge you could ever wish for.