5 Slang Terms You Need To Stop Using Right F*cking Now

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5 Slang Terms You Need To Stop Using Right F*cking Now UNILAD fleek287664

You know that feeling you get when you repeat a word over and over again until it loses all context and meaning and just becomes a kind of weird aural tic? Hopefully that happens to these cringeworthy slang terms through overuse, but just in case it doesn’t maybe we should collectively stop using them right fucking now?

On Fleek

If you want to sound like a 15-year-old Instagram addict who actually went out and bought Kim Kardashian’s book of selfies (which is a thing oh-dear-God-what-is-happening) then by all means describe your vajazzled leggings and Converse combo as “on fleek”. If on the other hand you want to come across as a functioning adult then feel free to use any of the thousands of adjectives available in the English language like “good”, “amazing” or, more accurately in this instance, “you look like a retarded giraffe who got dressed in the dark”.

When not to use it:

“Oh, my God, that pinstripe suit your dad was wearing in the coffin when they lowered his corpse into the cold earth was so on fleek.”


Abbreviating words is often handy, can be used to get to a point across quicker, or when writing shorthand. Other times though, it’s just an unnecessary affectation employed by the type of people you suspect are actually just too lazy to use whole words, like surly teenagers and parents trying to fit in with their totally hip kids.

When not to use it:

United Nations Representative: “Good morning Secretary General, do you think that the invasion of Middle Eastern countries post 9/11 to fight Al-Qaeda and overthrow Saddam Hussein was actually just a pretence designed to mask the real economic concerns in securing oil fields?”

Secretary General Kassym-Jomart Tokayev: “Totes.”


Instead of just smugly using one catchall word to faux-earnestly express how you reacted to that sad advert where Sting’s Fields of Gold plays over pictures of starving African kids, why not try actually just express yourself, you lazy, inarticulate cunt?

When not to use it:

“My high school boyfriend died and now I get the feels everytime I watch The Notebook.”


You know a slang term has reached peak popularity when wannabe-hip world leaders like David Cameron start using it, probably to describe a sexy pig or sultry bedside photo of Baroness Thatcher. By all means, have pet names for your other half if you must, even call them ‘bae’ if you’re that unoriginal, but just don’t be surprised when they’re sick a little bit in their mouth.

When not to use it:

Doctor: “I’m sorry sir, but Jemma has inoperable eye damage from taking 200 selfies a day. I know it’s totes emosh and you’re going to have a lot of feels, but your bae is probably going to go blind.”


This is one of those terms that, despite being in near universal usage, nobody really quite knows what it means and just repeat it when they struggle to find an appropriate adjective. It’s basically just a place-holder term when you can’t think of anything meaningful to say. How was the gig? ‘Mazin’ vibes. Did you enjoy that restaurant? Yeah totes vibes, so on fleek, gave me all the feels.

When not to use it:

Priest: “Do you John, take Rebecca, to be your lawfully wedded wife?

John: “Vibes.”