Babies suck on them for nourishment, men and women suck on them for pleasure (and sometimes for nourishment) and everyone in the world has either had them in their mouth or owns a pair themselves – yet in 17 countries across the world, research by Clinic Compare tells shows us that flashing a bit of tit in public is illegal, while owning a tool designed to kill people is perfectly acceptable. Here’s the trouble boobs can get you in in those countries…
While it’s technically legal to own a gun in Ireland, not many people do – even the police are an unarmed force. However Ireland has got a long history of Catholic-inspired laws enforcing draconian measures on matters of public decency such as censorship and nudity. For women publicly displaying their nip in Ireland, they can expect to face six months in prison, or a fine of €634.87. This is concerning, but on other issues at least, Ireland is finally on a progressive path having made same-sex marriages legal in a landmark referendum last year. G’wan Ireland!
Despite receiving international plaudits for imprisoning the bankers responsible for the 2008 crash, Iceland still deems it more dangerous for women to show their boobs in public than it is to own a gun. Even Bjork had to disguise hers in the above video ’cause robot boobs are allowed even though they’re as useless as nipples on a breastplate.
You’ll be arrested in Mexico too if you display your tits in public even though it’s perfectly alright to own a gun with which you can kill people with. How can the country responsible for Salma Hayek favour guns over boobs? It’s mental!
Although it’s alright for Fat Ronaldo to display his ample bosom in public, the same law doesn’t apply to the nation’s female population who could face anything from three months to a year in prison, or a fine.
In Russia it’s alright for the country’s leader to pose topless for homoerotic holiday snaps, but if a women does the same then she’s liable to face a €50 fine.
Turkish women can face a fine if they display their mammary glands in public and if you think that’s mental, in April last year Deputy Prime Minister Bulent Arinc proposed that there should be a law banning Turkish women from laughing in public. The woman in the above photo wouldn’t stand a fucking chance then… Grim.
Here’s Princess Charlene of Monaco enjoying a day at the beach, covered head to toe in a wetsuit despite the warm Mediterranean waters. Why? Cause in Monaco you can prosecuted for exposing boob in public.
You’d think being a beachy island in the middle of the Mediterranean would encourage lax laws regarding public boobiness but no, in Malta you’re likely to be fined or imprisoned if those nips slip.
Despite it being totally ok to carry a gun in Pakistan, carrying your own exposed tits on your chest isn’t so acceptable, and will see you getting fined 200 rupees or imprisoned.
Singapore allows gun ownership but if you flashed your guns then you’d face up to 90 days in prison, or a fine of $2,000.
United Arab Emirates
In the cash capital of the gulf, the United Arab Emirates, you’d face no less than six months imprisonment under modesty laws for showing your breasts.
Showing your nipples in Thailand will land you with a fine of 500 baht, roughly £9.50, about the same amount you’d pay to use a bar in Thailand to solicit prostitutes. Christ.
In war-torn Syria, women who choose not to wear the hijab to cover their head and chest risk being humiliated publicly, beaten, imprisoned and fined, all because of the apparent hair and body modesty rules of a god that may or may not exist.
As in Syria, for not wearing the hijab, Iraqi women risk being humiliated publicly, beaten, imprisoned and fined.
If you willfully chose to expose your breasts in Sudan you’d face the rather barbaric punishment of up to 50 lashes, which, ironically, they’d need to remove your clothing to do.
Despite there being thousands of instances of exposed norks in Egypt’s famous hieroglyphics, a glimpse of them in reality is deemed more of a threat than a handgun, and would land you with a prison sentence. ‘Cause that’s fair, apparently.
You can walk down the street with a gun in Morocco and everything’d be hunky dory, but if you replaced the bullets in that gun with exposed female breasts then you could be imprisoned for two years and/or face expulsion. Wow. Well done world.