There are some couples who’ll insist that they never fight, thinking that it’s a good sign when, in actual fact, it’s nothing more than an admission that you’re both living in a kind of mutually delusional fantasy in which you both just agree with whatever the other says, while a cauldron of simmering resentment burns away under the surface of all the things left unsaid.
Then there are couples who will kill each other over the slightest little thing, like what movie to watch, thinking to themselves that love is supposed to be passionate and dramatic, when they’re probably both just acting out the script their own parents did when they were children and thinking that’s what love is, and not just unmasked bitterness.
The trick to fighting as a couple is admitting that you will sometimes fight and, when you do it, it doesn’t have to be a plate-smashing, clothes piled at the door shoutathon.
Every couple will have fights and chances are the below battles will feature in there somewhere….
We Never Do What I Want To Do
That’s because, a) walking around a shop looking at dresses, b) going to see Carol at the cinema or c) taking a Zumba class, aren’t most lads’ ideas of fun.
The flipside, of course, is the opposing point of view as she probably doesn’t a) want to watch football in the pub all day on a Saturday, b) watch male-skewing action melodramas like Lethal Weapon or c) cycle 50km on a Sunday morning in the lashing rain, either.
Rather than arguing about it, you could just find some interests that you both share and just do them most of the time, while mixing up who gets to pick what. Simple, really…
Why Do You Keep Looking At Your Phone?
Because you’re boring the tits off me!
Some people are just naturally fidgety and find an outlet for that by constantly looking at their phones, while other’s are just rude dickbags who care more about their Instagram likes than having a real conversation. Figure out which one you are and just put the phone away, saving yourself needless arguments and ball-ache.
That Friend Is A Bad Influence
Chances are one of you has at least one friend that your partner actively doesn’t like.
The guy might have an old college friend who still thinks downing ten pints and two bags of white on a Tuesday evening is acceptable behaviour for a 30 year old man.
While the girl might have the conniving spiteful friend who, jealous of her coupled up mate being happy, will purposely try to sabotage the relationship by making sly subtly undermining comments about how much money the guy makes.
We Never Go Out Anymore
This fight is sure to happen sometime around January when one of you has entered winter hibernation mode and can only muster up the energy to watch episodes of Mr. Robot each night, before engaging in perfunctory sex and falling asleep.
Seriously, just book a Groupon, hit up the cinema and eat, watch and (later) shag your way into relationship bliss.
I’m Not A Mind Reader
You know the one – when one half proclaims confidently, “I don’t mind if we don’t do anything for Valentine’s Day” and then gets the hump because their significant other took what they said at face value and planned absolutely fuck all for Valentine’s Day.
It’s kind of a dick move to get annoyed. After all, if you want your partner to do something there’s a simple way to get it – tell them!
Why Are You Still In Contact With Your Ex?
Depending on the nature of the relationship with the ex, this is another one of those that actually shouldn’t even be a fight.
If you’re secretly boning your ex then you’re a dick and deserve to be slammed and questioned.
If, on the other hand, you’re just doing the decent thing and keeping up some semblance of a friendship with someone who you once shared your life with, then you’re a sound person and don’t deserve the inquisition. You might still get it though…