It’s not much of a surprise that people, men or women, will sometimes feign an interest in something their crush enjoys purely for the purpose of making themselves more attractive.
It happens all the time – in order to get closer to their other halves, some might pretend to be into abrasive industrial techno, others might pretend to enjoy Sex and the City.
Let’s just say, sometimes people can be a little bit liberal with the truth in the name of love…
The Music Of Adele
The music of Adele, with its saccharine sentimentality and complete lack of anything resembling edge, is strangely enjoyed by a large audience of people for whom music is something to listen to in the car on the way to the gym or the shops. A sort of noise accompaniment to the grim mundanity of life, if you will.
An undeniable percentage of this audience are women – men who legitimately like Adele’s music are rare like snow leopards or a person who still hasn’t watched Making A Murderer.
The only reason that a guy is listening to Adele is as a way to build a rapport with those women, even though her music is the sort of bland corporate nonsense aimed at people who don’t really like music.
“Sorry lads, I’m not coming out, I’m watching X-Factor with Denise…..no, I’ve no ulterior motive, I genuinely want to see some shrieking harridan butcher a classic song at the behest of a jaded millionaire who, like some neuvo-Caesar can decide whether she lives or dies, but only saves her having successfully needled some piecemeal human interest story out of her crying face because it makes her more appealing to a nation of dimwits.”
A conversation between two men, one of whom is torturing himself with X-Factor in the name of love – Manchester, circa 2016.
All right-thinking people know that cats, rather than being cute balls of fur who guarantee page hits when crowbarred into a YouTube video, are actually evil predators who don’t want and won’t petition for the love of any human, preferring instead to kill small mice for sport.
However, cats – with their cuteness – have snared the imagination of some women and tricked them into thinking that they’re not ruthless killers but simultaneously a close friend, a reason to post Instagrams, and a salve for bouts of wine-inflicted loneliness.
Unless you like ogling Kylie Jenner’s surgery enhanced lips or Dan Bilzerian’s intellectually de-hanced arseholery, then Instagram will strike most men as a sort of repository for pics of people’s dinners, cats and obviously photoshopped selfies.
A man will generally only express himself via Instagram if he’s a self-serving ‘photographer’, desperately trying to gain the attention of any female follower who’s into close-up photos of butterflies combined with inspirational quotes.
Going Shopping On A Saturday Afternoon
Walk into any H&M or Topshop on a Saturday afternoon and, alongside the cheaply manufactured clothing, piped in mainstream dance music and fake tan covered shoppers, you’ll find hordes of secretly bored men pretending to enjoy themselves as their love interest or potential crush browses through outfits that are all imperceptibly different from one another.
A recent study claimed that it takes men only 26 minutes to become bored of shopping, anything after that is done with the steely resolve of a man trying to get a third date.
No human, male or female, willingly goes to see a film starring Kate Hudson unless they’re hoping that it facilitates sex.
The only purpose of a turgid, Julia Roberts starring vehicle is so that couples can share a mildly amusing, inoffensive visual experience to act as a sort of modern day mating ritual, before they can get drunk and make out like teenagers. And, to be fair, if that’s the case, then maybe rom-coms are worth it.