Everybody grew up watching cartoons. Unless you were one of those weird kids that played outside and had a good crack at childhood. We hated you. But luckily in our adulthood, there are a ton of cartoons available specifically tailored to our simple needs. Here are five cartoons that you can watch right now, and not feel like you’re shaming your ancestry with your hamster-like mind.
Rick and Morty
If you like your cartoons as irreverent as they are smart, packed with violence and mid-sentence burping, then Rick and Morty is for you. Rick Sanchez is a scientific genius. Rick Sanchez is also a complete prick. Unfortunately for Morty, Rick is the Grandpa who takes him on his psychedelic journey’s across time and space, often for the most mundane things that almost always end up with somebody getting killed. Part of what makes Rick and Morty so hilarious is the fact that a good portion of it is completely ad-libbed and you don’t need to watch the episodes in any kind of order to enjoy the what-the-fuckery of the whole thing.
Remember when parents freaked the fuck out about South Park when it first aired back in 1997, because they thought it was a kid’s cartoon and it absolutely wasn’t? Yeah, those days are long gone, but South Park has grown with its audience to provide a pretty scathing but relateable social commentary. Usually panned by critics but adored by everybody else, creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have fistfuls of classic episodes from the 19 seasons aired. Nobody has been safe from being satirised on South Park, and if there’s ever been a person or event that needs to be put in its place, Kyle, Stan, Cartman, Kenny (and occasionally Butters) will do it.
Also Randy is a fucking hero.
A lot of people kind of sacked Futurama off as a shitter Simpsons, and they were wrong to do that, because Futurama is fucking awesome. Philip J. Fry the pizza delivery guy accidentally cryogenically froze himself on the cusp of the twenty-first century, thawing out in the year 3000 to find the world a very different place. It’s the characters that make Futurama so incredible, from the sass-mouthing robot Bender to the senile Professor Farnsworth. Not to mention the fact that this comedy cartoon can really hit you in the feels when it counts. RIP Seymour.
Attack on Titan
While the west tends to shy away from classic anime, some of them are absolutely worth checking out, none more so than the terrifying Attack On Titan. In a world where humanity is on the brink of extinction, hold up in city fortresses and cowering from the freaky as fuck humanoid Titans, there’s not a great deal to be hopeful for. When the Titans breach the city walls one day, all hell breaks loose as people get eaten alive in their masses. The only option is to fight or die.
Sterling Archer is a super spy, master romancer, and all-round asshole. Throwing back to the golden-age of Bond, Archer only takes time away from poking fun at itself to take the piss out of everybody else. The supporting cast of ISIS agents – no, not that ISIS – are hilarious to a tee, and do an awesome job of backing up the main man. Archer manages to satirise the ‘secret-agent’ genre so perfectly, it’s a wonder it’s never been done so well before. Always remember, watch your phrasing.