Six Crazy Floridian Moments From 2015

By : Rebecca KnightTwitterLogo

Six Crazy Floridian Moments From 2015

Florida is a pretty amazing place.

It’s also home to a shit load of crazy people, who enjoy running round naked, taking Flakka and getting in crocodile infested waters – and that’s all before breakfast.

With that in mind, we’ve taken a look back through our archives from the past 12 months and found five of the very best stories from Florida – complete with some of the craziest moments.

Take a look at these.

The Flakka taking, Satan channeling teen:

One of the best stories – if by best we mean totally bonkers, obviously.

It pretty much is exactly how it sounds. After taking Flakka – because Floridians don’t seem to get that it’s a seriously bad idea, one girl stripped of, because, you know, Florida y’all.

She then made her way through the streets, jumped through a glass window, and proclaimed she was Satan.

The 17-year-old also punched the window of a car, and was eventually tasered by police.

The guy who thought it was OK to knock a girl out

Yeah, this isn’t OK, and it never will be. This is the kind of crazy we don’t like – and certainly don’t find funny, but it certainly makes the top five.

The fight took place on the streets – how very Florida, and the guy decided to ignore the rules of common decency and let’s face it, any humanity he had, and hit the girl.

She was knocked out cold, the whole thing was caught on camera, and it created one hell of a media storm – as you might expect.

Six Crazy Floridian Moments From 2015 man dogExpress

Man bites dog, ends up in jail

What kind of person would bite a dog I hear you ask? Well the answer is simple.

One who lives in Florida and is addicted to alcohol.

David Etzel bit his mother’s dog, and left it blind, and ended up in a whole heap of legal trouble after his mother shopped him to the cops – quite rightly.

It turned out the dog didn’t actually do anything wrong, and David was actually just a bit of a lunatic. Obviously.

Six Crazy Floridian Moments From 2015 monkeyfStanford Police Department

Escaped Monkey shows police a thing or two

What’s better than a monkey on the loose?

A monkey on the loose in Florida, who then goes and attacks the police who are trying to capture it.

Zeek escaped from his owner and went on a little trek around Orlando, causing a fair bit of chaos while police tried to chase after it.

He jumped on a patrol car and damaged it, and also gave the officers the run around.

Six Crazy Floridian Moments From 2015 eduardoClick Orlando

Man calls 911, brags about his muscles

Anyone who eats clean and goes to the gym is understandably proud of their body – but one man was so proud of his hard work, he decided to call 911 and brag about it.

Yeah, you read that right. Eduardo Garcia repeatedly rung 911 to brag about his muscles, and when officers eventually arrived to tell him to stop misusing the number, he threatened to headbutt them.

Really, residents of Florida need to learn that the emergency number is for just that – emergencies.

Six Crazy Floridian Moments From 2015 moron cUnilad

Floridian gets arrested, asks to speak to ‘Mayor of Moron county’

So the story goes like this.

Gary Linman, who was obviously high on Flakka, couldn’t get home. He then decided to call police car to get a lift, using 911 – because why wouldn’t you.

After being found in the middle of the road, high, police weren’t too impressed with Linman, who then lost the plot totally.

He asked to ‘speak to the Mayor of Moron county’ and that didn’t go down too well. He was then arrested. Obviously.