This Is The Reason Orlando Bloom Went Naked Paddle Boarding

By : Joseph Loftus |


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It seems all you need to do nowadays is get cock bollock naked and you’ll break the Internet.

Kim Kardashian does it every other week, Alex Bowen does it in his spare time, and now Orlando Bloom’s got his blue veined sausage out on a paddle board.

Yesterday, all of the world’s media focused entirely on Bloom’s package and I’m sure by now you’ve all already laid eyes on it – but is there a secret reason for the morning glory revelation?

Surely there’s more reason than just the scorching Mediterranean sun to make a public spectacle of yourself when you’re an award-winning actor with a net worth of over $35 million, with homes in Hollywood, London, and wherever else you please, and a girlfriend who’s one of the biggest stars on the planet.

Well this is one theory, according to The Mirror.

Katy Perry has just (literally last night) dropped her new single – Rise (irony). Is this a way of putting her straight back into the limelight again?

It does seem like a bit more than just a coincidence that one of the most lusted over British actors gets his schlong out mere hours before his girlfriend drops a single fittingly titled with an erection pun.

jaja This Is The Reason Orlando Bloom Went Naked Paddle BoardingRise: Katy Perry / YouTube

Admittedly, it’s a pretty ballsy marketing campaign if this is simply just to draw some big attention to Katy Perry’s new single, but as we’ve seen before – Bloom isn’t too shy when it comes to sex and nudity.

Once, The Hobbit star claimed that he’d love to make a nude Hobbit movie where his meat and veg takes centre stage.

orlando bloom legolas the hobbit This Is The Reason Orlando Bloom Went Naked Paddle BoardingNew Line Cinema

Perhaps he’s just bitter that the x-rated Hobbit never came to be, and this is the closest he can get – paddle-boarding nude on a Sisyphean task – like Jason and the Argonauts with his penis as his trusted sabre.


Daily Mirror