London Fire Brigade Reveal The Weirdest 999 Calls They’ve Received

By : Alex Watt |


firefighter hoax FB London Fire Brigade Reveal The Weirdest 999 Calls Theyve ReceivedComedy Central/SWNS

You may think being called on to rescue cats stuck up trees is about as irritating as it gets for firefighters but it turns out that things can get very weird indeed on the 999 calls.

As part of a 12 days of Christmas campaign on Twitter, London Fire Brigade (LFB) have revealed some of the downright bizarre false alarms they’ve experienced over the last five years.

And if you thought animals trapped in strange places was bad, how about being called on to translate a word into English, warm baby’s milk or remove rings stuck on men’s penises? Maybe this profession isn’t as badass as it looks on TV…

The fire service have started the festive campaign to stop time-wasters and raise awareness of what is an emergency and what isn’t – because it looks as though a worrying amount of people in the UK capital aren’t able to use their common sense on this one.

In full, here are the LFB’s 12 days of Christmas:

Day 1: A third of our calls are to false alarms – including one to PearTree house
Day 2: We’ve been called to dove stuck up a chimney. Call the RSPCA first not us
Day 3: French man called 999 to ask us to translate a word. Emergency? NON
Day 4: Called to help a cockatoo that’s being bullied by birds! Think before you 999
Day 5: Nearly 5 penis rings rescues a year. Doesn’t fit don’t force it
Day 6: 999 call to goose laying on a roof. Call RSPCA first not us
Day 7: We were called to swan swimming in frozen lake. Don’t rescue it yourself, call RSPCA
Day 8: Can you believe a woman once called for us to warm her baby’s milk!
Day 9: Ladies stopped dancing by slippery floor is not a 999 call
Day 10: Man called 999 to recite the Lord’s Prayer to us #10LordsaLeaping
Day 11: Snake stuck in your pipes? Call RSPCA – Don’t pipe up & dial 999
Day 12: 999 call to kitten with drum on it’s head. Drumming it in that it’s not an emergency

All together, in the past five years alone, the Fire Brigade says it has received over 8,600 hoax calls, 187,000 false alarms, 2,800 animal rescues and 1,500 people stuck in objects such as chairs and toilet seats.

The brigade’s director of operations, Dave Brown, added:

You wouldn’t believe some of the incidents crews are called out to. We are also keen to reduce the number of animals firefighters are called to rescue and want people to call the RSPCA if they see an animal stuck, not 999. We are regularly called to deal with a lot of incidents which could be avoided. We want everyone to have a good Christmas, but remember that silly pranks and time-wasting calls cost us time, money and resources.

Given there are only a certain number of fire fighters and fire engines available at one time, be careful out there, leave the toilet seat down, and keep your pets out of any percussion instruments you have lying around the house!