Take the name of your first pet and put it before the street you grew up on and boom, welcome to the porn industry.
But what if you ask a handful of actual pornstars to work out their own x-rated names? Well then you have this video thanks to the guys over at Adult Empire.
In the 2-minute clip you see adult actresses such as Nicole Aniston, Kayden Kross, Riley Reid, and Richelle Ryan putting the age old equation to the test – and in more than a few cases, the end results are rather unappetising.
One such instance is when Riley Reid comes to the conclusion that by using that formula her porn name would be Odis 107th Avenue. It hardly screams sex does it?
Richelle Ryan figured out that her supposed porn star name would be Freddie Main Street. Now I’m not one to generalise but that sounds like the name to a pretty buff and well endowed guy if you ask me.
While Nicole Aniston ought to be called Bowie Tupelo – ‘a big dick’ guys name in her own words.
And what would yours be Mr Loftus, I hear you ask. Max Bishop. Yep – you read that right. Max. Bishop. Like the shittest spy in the world who’s taken to the porn industry as his career on the side. Max fucking Bishop. What a name.
I’ll stick to journalism for now.