December 31 is here and that means one thing – it’s time to go out and get utterly shitfaced to see in the new year.
While many will hit the town and watch their local firework display, it’s tried and tested to get yourself down to a good old NYE house party.
Besides catching up with old friends, it’s also inevitable you’ll bump into most of the same stereotypes at any given social gathering.
Here are the ten types of people you find at every NYE party. Which one are you?
This guy/girl is single and they want everyone to know it. Forget finding someone to kiss at midnight, they want to lock lips with someone right now. And then someone else. And someone else. Occasionally this person actually has a significant other, which means they can wake up on January 1 to see in the new year with an overwhelming feeling of regret and shame.
It’s been a long year and this person is determined they’re not going to remember any of it by the time the clock strikes midnight. By 11.30 they’re blind drunk and they’re pushing the tequila on you, whether you like it or not, because it’s always SHOT O’ CLOCK, right? If it was up to this person, there wouldn’t be any booze left by tomorrow morning, but soon after midnight they’ve usually disappeared to throw up in the toilet for a good hour or so.
The Emotional Philosopher
After a few beers this person is going to get deep, be it about personal stuff or the wider political issues of the world. They’ve either got a great way to save the world and they’re going to tell you about it in great detail or things are about to get really emotional. Within hours, their arm is wrapped around your shoulder in a vice grip as they weep onto your shoulder and declare “you’re my best friend”. You just wanted to have a laugh and see in 2016 in style, but instead you’re comforting your mate about the girl they broke up with two years ago or coming up with a whole new strategy to overthrow the government together just as soon as your hangover shifts tomorrow morning.
They stroll in, demand to know the wi-fi code and proceed to sit in the corner on their phone for the rest of the evening. Although they’re not actually talking to anyone at the party, drinking anything or appearing to have any fun whatsoever, you just know their Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts are being flooded with posts about what an “amazing night” they’re having. #YOLO #FOMO
The person who’s convinced they’re the joker in the pack but doesn’t realise they’re actually just a colossal nobhead and everyone hates them. They’ll move the furniture around or commit some kind of minor atrocity by pissing in someone’s beer and watching them drink it or killing the house goldfish or something similarly horrific. And, just as soon as anyone is foolish enough to fall asleep, you’d better believe they’re getting a cock and balls drawn on their face with magic marker.
They’re not going to let a single moment of the evening pass by undocumented. This will be a NYE to remember and the more photographic evidence of what a wild time everyone’s having, the better. This person can be seen shoving a camera in your face at regular intervals, usually while you’re deep in conversation with an old flame you haven’t seen in years, just to completely kill the mood.
The Guy Nobody Knows
Seriously who is that guy? Who invited him? Why is he here? Does he actually know anyone else at the party? Look at him, standing there, all dark and mysterious and awkward.
The Playlist Hijacker
The one who fancies themselves as a bit of a DJ but could never be arsed to actually purchase a set of decks. As soon as somebody leaves the specially selected new year’s themed playlist unattended to go and find some more alcohol in the kitchen, this person will swoop in and put on their favourite album, usually something entirely inappropriate for a party setting. Seriously, nobody wants to hear Fleetwood Mac’s ‘Tusk’ from start to finish at 2am, mate.
The Energetic Dancer
They just want to dance the night away and, boy, are they going to let you know about it. While you’re all chilling in the kitchen, enjoying a few beers and chatting about how awesome 2015 has been, this person keeps popping their head in and screaming at you to join them in the living room and get your groove on. By around 11pm, they’ve usually cracked the karaoke on and are singing so loudly, you fear you might not actually hear the clock strike 12. And God help you all when it’s time to sing ‘Auld Lang Syne’ because this person is about to really make that song their own.
There’s always that one guy who can’t hold their beer and after three lager shandies, they’re looking to take out their deep seated self hatred out on someone else’s face. They shout a lot, punch a lot and it means some unfortunate sap is seeing in the new year with a black eye and a bloodied nose.