Books, films, academic papers and medical experts have been delving into the murky minds of psychopaths for years, trying to figure out what makes them tick.
It’s true; we’re all fascinated with the dark side of the human psyche but most of us will never understand how psychopaths think and feel and function… Until now.
One individual – who was diagnosed with Anti-Social Personality Disorder – has explained what it is like to live as a functioning ‘full blown psychopath’.
The Reddit user identifies as a single 22-year-old ‘full blown psychopath who leads what appears to be a normal and healthy lifestyle’. They work as a systems engineer for a tech company after not graduating college and rent one room from their father – who they recently reconnected with – and their father’s wife.
Deluxium explained, ‘I’m here to hopefully clear up misconceptions and stigmas so please ask literally anything’… And Reddit, being Reddit, gets deep and dark pretty quickly, inquiring about the homicidal tendencies synonymous with psychopaths we encounter in film and TV.
The 22-year-old responded with shocking candour:
It’s a common misconception that psychopaths have a definitive desire to kill, but I’m not homicidal simply because it I don’t see how the act of taking a life could be entertaining (unless you were to play that risky game of making them fearful and hunted, ya know classic serial killer phone call/ransom bullshit). On top of that, if everyone went around killing each other, society would break down. Lastly, the risk of legalities are clearly not worth it.
On a side note, I truly do want to still take a life and see how I feel about it afterwards but again, it’s just the curiosity of “am I really crazy” but I wouldn’t act on it.
When pressed about how psychopaths, in their experience, form emotional connections with their family and friends, they responded, ‘I guess I’d have to say I don’t care about the actual people themselves; if someone offered me something I find more valuable in trade for their life, I could without a doubt end the life of either one of them w/ no remorse.’
Considering this, one person asked why the original poster (OP) wanted to be in a relationship to which they responded, ‘A few reasons. Easy ones being sexual interests and such. I also have a desire to be loved, not sure why.’
It further instigated a question about sexual desire, to which the OP wrote:
When one user asked about the OP’s diagnosis, they explained a diagnosis had only been achieved this year and that it could stem from ‘genetics’ and ‘possibly my environment growing up played a part in it as well’.
They personally feel they’d always noticed something was ‘off’ and that they’d been born with psychopathic tendencies, adding:
One person asked whether this individual gained pleasure from seeing animals suffer, perhaps referencing the horrifying scene of animal cruelty in The Butterfly Effect.
However, the OP responded:
No, I have no interest in animals. It’s more of a mental thing for me, not physical. Side note, oddly enough, animals almost universally love me. Even those dogs/cats that people claim “hate everyone”.
One curious commentator asked whether having psychopathic tendencies helps the individual advance through their career in tech.
For the film buffs, this individual has some damning news about the power of movies: They claim to not connect with any on screen depictions of psychopathic tendencies, saying, ‘The only psychopaths you really hear about are the serial killers or fictional representation of what people think a psychopath is, so the short answer is no.’
Finally, when asked if their life is lonely because of their diagnosis, they replied with a heart-breaking statement:
The admission sounds altogether similar to many people suffering with more common mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression.
Perhaps we all have more in common with people diagnosed with psychopathic tendencies than we might think, and Deluxium’s candour goes some way to eschewing the stigma of the psychopath.