When you’ve got the horn but feel like doing something a bit freakier than your standard wank remember that it’s never a good idea to stick your manhood into a bottle.
Unfortunately, this 50-year-old man found out the hard way when he used a plastic drinks container as an inventive household sex toy, reports the Mirror.
Now personally I have absolutely no idea why this unlucky bastard ever thought that putting his erect penis into a plastic bottle would 1) feel good, and 2) be entirely safe – but for some reason he went right ahead and did it.
Long story short, this horny Lothario got his junk stuck in the bottle and couldn’t pull it out no matter how hard he tried.
Apparently the man was too embarrassed to seek professional help so left it a full four days before going to hospital but it was too late.
By the time this unfortunate son made his way to hospital his penis was suffering from ‘very severe’ necrosis – a condition which causes the cells to die, or to put it more bluntly his penis turned completely black and was beginning to decay.
As a result of the man’s prolonged and agonising wait before going to hospital, doctors had no choice but to remove the organ.
The urologist who carried out the removal, Dr Dennis Chirinos claimed that the man’s urethra had to be relocated so that he could urinate but that he will never be able to have sex again.
It’s a strange case, it’s happened before, bit it’s still strange.
We had a 50-year-old patient, that, because he didn’t have a girlfriend or a wife, wanted to relieve his sexual frustration. So he put his penis in a bottle and this caused the death and necrosis of the penis.
When he arrived four days later we had to amputate the penis completely because it was completely dead.
When you put your penis into a bottle it causes a constriction in the blood vessels of the penis and within four hours you can lose the penis.
Moral of the story – don’t fuck a plastic bottle. Ever.