As men across the world fade effortlessly into old age and towards the end of the tunnel we call life a lot of shit happens, culminating with the shittiest – death.
Along the journey towards the big sleep, our hair fades to either bald or grey, our bodies weaken, our health deteriorates, and as if all was not bad enough, our cocks diminish too, according to The Sun.
Yep – we’re not joking. Perhaps the most prized possession of men from every corner of the globe will shrink, the shape may change, and your sexual performance will most likely see you go from Casanova to CasanoI’mnotinthemood in just a matter of a few dull and tiresome years.
So let us now delve into all those lovely depressing details.
Your dick will shrink:
Your lengthy and girthy member will shrivel. As your testosterone begins to drizzle into nothingness, and your downstairs cells switch to collagen your penis will more than likely get a little smaller.
The shape will change:
Think how many times you would’ve had sex by the time you reach, say, 50. That’s a lot of vigorous fucking. And that’s also a lot of microtears and minor injuries.
Now we’re not talking penile fractures here; we’re essentially talking about the minor accidents you probably wouldn’t even really notice.
However that isn’t to say that the scar tissue isn’t noticing and the more scar tissue you develop, the more likely your penis is to start bending…
On the other hand though there is a rainbow after every storm as you could say having a bend in your cock is the living proof of a good fucking life (literally).
Wrinkles, you’ll get them:
As your skin begins to lose its beautiful elasticity every part of skin on your sagging body will begin to wrinkle, including the skin on your prized blue-veined sausage.
Although you can get some extensive surgery to get rid of the wrinkles, it’s risky business for something entirely natural.
Your performance will get shittier:
Not to be the bearer of bad news but to finalise this list of penile negativity chances are your talent in the bedroom will be dramatically reduced when it comes to penetration.
As we age our blood flow is more prone to be restricted and because your rock hard erection is 100 per cent down to a good blood flow, there’s a semi (sorry) decent chance your going to find it harder to get hard.
Now while you might want to get to work on your oral game before the big changes come, you can also look into viagra and cialis to cure your potential erectile issues.
I guess all that’s left to say is embrace the changes and make the most of what you’ve got before it shrinks, wrinkles, and becomes no more impressive than a pickled gherkin.