As a new year and a new dawn rapidly approaches, we look back at an up-and-down 2015.
And while there was plenty to admire about the last 12 months, there’s also been some pretty awful news stories dominating the cycles. Often, it seemed, with many of the same names involved.
And wouldn’t it be lovely if some of those people could just, you know, disappear back into obscurity as soon as the clock strikes midnight on December 31, 2015?
All in all, there were a lot of shitty humans this year, but we managed to narrow it down to just eight.
Here are the main candidates we’d love to not have join us in 2016…
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi
We keep hearing reports that the leader of Islamic State (ISIS) has been killed in an air strike but then he just keeps on living. Just go away already and take your awful beliefs with you.
Everyone is sick of hearing this guy’s name, at this point. Sadly, the filthy rich businessman is no longer the joke candidate for the U.S. presidency, as his campaign to be the Republican nominee for the post is actually gaining momentum. Absolutely shamelessly, the white toupee wearing wanker is preying off the fears of the American public and making numerous outrageous xenophobic remarks.
From calling for a wall to be built between America and Mexico to stop “rapists” getting in, to claiming he’d bring in a blanket ban on allowing Muslims into the country, Trump has spouted some serious ignorant shit and a worrying amount of people are swallowing it.
Hell, the people of the UK are so annoyed by what he’s saying that a petition to have him banned from entering the country on the grounds of hate speech racked up more than half a million signatures in a week. So, please, go away Donald and keep your awful views consigned to the history books in 2015. Because we do not want this guy actually getting into the White House – if this idiot has his finger on the button, nuclear annihilation of all of humanity is all but confirmed.
We really hope the BBC rues the day they invited Katie Hopkins to appear on The Apprentice because it seems in 2015 we simply cannot escape this awful woman and her awful opinions which she has for money. Paid to write columns for such bastions of morality and equality as the Sun and the Daily Mail, she spouts her awful controversial opinions as she desperately clings to the last shred of fame and celebrity she has left through appearances alongside other has-beens on shitty reality TV shows.
Her comments about refugees in April were a new low even for her, as her “cockroach” comments were condemned not just by the majority of the UK, but by the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights. Other lowlights from Hopkins’ last 12 months, included condemning all Pakistani men which saw her investigated for possible race hate crimes, suggesting people with dementia are “bed blockers” and, of course, becoming best buds with fellow shitty human Donald Trump when she supported his Islamophobic comments about London being radicalised.
Seriously, Katie, you are the absolute worst. Go away.
Ruining football since 1998, the FIFA president finally got what was coming to him this year as Swiss authorities arrested a bunch of his cronies and are going to investigate the 79-year-old on a whole heap of corruption charges.
Investigative journalist Andrew Jennings once described FIFA under Blatter’s command as organised crime, and it’s been pretty well suspected for a long time that FIFA is as corrupt as they come from top to bottom. When Russia and Qatar were handed the rights to host the next two World Cup tournaments, despite their questionable human rights records, everyone knew something was amiss and accusations the countries had bought votes from FIFA delegates began to gain steam.
Blatter finally resigned from his position in June, only to claim a couple of months later that he’d never said that at all (you held a press conference mate, we watched it!) and he’d probably stick around. At least he’s been slapped with an eight year ban now. As much as we would like to leave him behind in 2015, we hope if we do bring Blatter with us into the new year, he’ll finally be charged for all the awful shit he’s allegedly done.
Officially the worst dentist since that guy in Little Shop of Horrors, Palmer became the most hated doctor in all of America when he paid $50,000 to murder Cecil the Lion. Quite why he did this is beyond us – maybe he was trying to make up for his own shortcomings in the bedroom and just really needed to kill something which was stronger and more majestic than he’ll ever be?
Whatever the reason, the killing of the majestic 13-year-old lion in Zimbabwe – in which Palmer and his cronies wounded Cecil with an arrow, let him bleed out for 40 hours, then returned to finish him off with a rifle – quite rightly caused outrage around the world. Palmer soon found his dentistry business boycotted by animal conservationists and basically anyone with a soul, and honestly it couldn’t happen to a nicer bloke.
He was basically seen as the father to the whole of America until this year, when Bill Cosby was accused by more than 50 women of sexual misconduct against them. Although the accusations were pretty well known in some circles, it was only when fellow comedian Hannibal Burress mentioned them on stage in his act last October and the video went viral, that earlier sexual assault allegations against the comedian became more public, and more and more women came forward with their own stories.
Essentially, going as far back as the 1960’s, Cosby is alleged to have drugged and raped multiple women and the whole thing is pretty horrific. As of the time of writing, there are eight related civil lawsuits active against Cosby.
He’s now countersuing seven of the women who accused him of sexual assault, claiming they lied about him for financial gain. However, by claiming that only seven of the accusers lied, what exactly is Cosby unwittingly saying about the other 43 or more women who’ve accused him of sexual assault?
You don’t get the title of the most hated man in America without good reason and Martin Shkreli really took sheer bellendery to a new level in 2015. The pharmaceutical executive raised the ire of pretty much the entire planet when it emerged he’d acquired the rights to Daraprim, an effective drug for treating HIV, and then jacked up the price by 5,500 per cent – from $13.50 per pill to $700.
Then, just when you thought this guy couldn’t get any worse, he did it again, increasing the price of a medicine used to treat Chagas disease, a parasitic infection which can cause heart failure. He also bought the only known copy of the new Wu-Tang Clan album for a reported $2 million at auction, just because he could.
Basically, Shkreli is the epitome of everything which is wrong with corporate America – a stupidly wealthy man who only wants get richer by screwing over the little guy. He’s like a James Bond supervillain with a more punchable face. Fortunately, karma has a sense of humour and Shkreli was arrested on fraud charges just one week before Xmas. It’s a Christmas miracle!
Talk about a dramatic fall from grace for the former pro-wrestling icon. The steroid addled, orange skinned, shirt ripping comeback king, who slammed Andre the Giant in front of 93,173 fans in the Silverdome, brother (but he never really mentions it), was already on a downward spiral at the start of 2015 given the emergence of that sex tape footage in which he ‘Hulked Up’ on top of another man’s wife.
Still, at least he still had his job with WWE, right? Well, he did, until his lawsuit with Gawker over said sex tape revealed he’d made a number of racist comments after hearing his daughter might have been dating a black man. He was immediately fired from the company – which is pretty incredible given the amount of racially stereotypical gimmicks WWE have had for workers in the past, not to mention that the CEO himself Vince McMahon once used the N-word live on air (yes, really). Different time, we guess.
Still, ol’ Hogan couldn’t make it any worse, could he? Oh, but he could, as he was trolled mercilessly on Twitter by people sending him “messages of support” featuring photos of various black footballers and not realising people were having him on. He then went on ABC, cried a bit and asked for forgiveness because he claimed people used that word all the time where he grew up in Tampa, Florida. You can rip your shirt and retweet photos of Cheryl Fernandez-Versini all you like Hulk, I don’t think you’re coming back from this one, mate.