As a Libra I’m a naturally balanced and calm person so what the fuck is this shit that there’s a thirteenth astrological sign!
For those among you who swear by your daily horoscope and for whatever reason believe that stars millions of miles away somehow have an effect on our lives, and indeed destinies, then we’ve got bad news.
It’s all nonsense. And not just nonsense because it doesn’t exist, but nonsense because it turns out there’s a thirteenth astrological symbol that no one told you about called Ophiuchus.
The news, that will devastate fortune tellers around the world, comes from NASA who I credit with knowing a lot more about the cosmos than Mystic Meg wannabes.
So if you were born between November 29 and December 17 then you’re now the long ignored Ophiuchus and as an added bonus all the other astrological dates have shifted as well changing a lot of people’s birth signs, Key 103 reports.
Twitter naturally went into meltdown over the news…
Why did they change the zodiac signs Talking about they discovered a new zodiac sign I'm not a damn Gemini !
— LaTisha 👸🏾✨ (@MichelleChelly_) September 5, 2016
So I'm not Sagittarius, I'm Ophiuchus hahaha! Okay wow pic.twitter.com/7aSglWfo3K
— C A R M E L L A 🌹 (@OMdy_) September 17, 2016
ophiuchus?!? I wanna be sagittarius always💔💔
— lydia (@lydia__rowe) September 17, 2016
Apparently a new zodiac sign has been added & I'm no longer a sagittarius and am now an "ophiuchus" … like excuse me how rudeAdvertisement
— Anna Siewers (@AnnaSiewers) September 16, 2016
Sorry nope I'm still a Sagittarius not ophiuchus 👍🏻
— Nancy shefford (@nancyshefford) September 16, 2016
Just found out I'm an ophiuchus, not a Sagittarius. I don't even know myself anymore. @NASA
— dani (@danimayonnaise) September 16, 2016
So apparently my star sign has changed. My Taurus personality doesn't like change but apparently my new Aries one does #confused ✨♉️♈️✨
— Eshé Brown 📷 (@FoodieEshe) September 15, 2016
Fun fact though, Ophiuchus is nothing new people have been known about it for years they just chose to ignore it presumably because the Babylonians did the same while they were hammering out the calendar.
Here is the updated list of horoscopes thanks to Ophiuchus.
Capricorn: Jan 20 – Feb 16
Aquarius: Feb 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11 – April 18
Aries: April 18 – May 13
Taurus: May 13 – June 21
Gemini: June 21 – July 20
Cancer: July 20 – August 10
Leo: August 10 – September 16
Virgo: September 16 – October 14
Libra: October 14 – November 23
Scorpio: November 23 – November 29
Ophiuchus: November 29 – December 17
Sagittarius: December 17 – January 20
For the record this makes me a Virgo, not a Libra, and they’re apparently notoriously critical which considering my withering criticism of astrology seems apt.
Maybe there is something in this…