The Five Things You Shouldn’t Be Doing With Your Penis

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Considering that over fifty per cent of the population have a dick, you’d think that more people would know how to look after their favourite body part. 

Surprisingly, however, it seems that not everyone understands how to keep their love muscle happy and healthy.

So here’s a list courtesy of The Mirror on the dos and don’ts of penis ownership.

Touching yourself

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Let’s be honest, all blokes enjoy a bit of ‘alone time’ once in a while, and for the most part there’s nothing wrong with a cheeky bit of self-gratification.

In fact, men who masturbate regularly are supposed to have a lower risk of prostate cancer and it’s a great stress reliever.

But there is one downside to going to ‘pound town’ too often. Luckily, you won’t go blind or get hairy palms, but if you over indulge you may bring on oedema, apparently.

That’s the slightly more scientific way of saying your tackle will swell up like a balloon as fluid begins to build up in the surrounding tissue.

Not to worry though, the swelling does disappear within a day or two. Still not ideal…

Don’t choke on smoke

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It goes without saying that smoking is not the healthiest of pastimes, but what it does to your penis is just hideous.

The more you smoke, the more chance you have of developing atherosclerosis, which is a build-up of plaque inside the arteries.

This can lead to the penis’s delicate tissue being damaged, adversely affecting its ability to maintain an erection.

Also, according to the National Male Medical Clinics, toxic chemicals within cigs could lead to erectile dysfunction.

Don’t drink too much

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It’s pretty common knowledge that having a tipple or two can lead to the dreaded ‘whisky dick,’ but too much alcohol is really not great for your todger.

Reportedly, the dehydration caused by drinking won’t just give you a stonking hangover – it can reduce your blood volume causing a rise in angiotensin, which can put a cramp in your love making.

Put down the fork

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Willy size is directly related to obesity, and feasting on fatty foods can effectively hide your poor wee fella.

Ronald Tamler, MD, PhD, co-director of the Men’s Health Program at Mount Sinai Hospital explains that: “In some cases, abdominal fat all but buries the penis.”

Obesity also makes it harder to have sex, causes sexual dysfunction and can result in hormonal imbalance.

Give yourself some love

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Yes, one of the worst thing you can do with your meat and two veg is not show it any love.

You see, erections are necessary to keep your penis, well, penis-shaped.

Tobias Kohler, MD, an assistant professor of urology at Southern Illinois University School of Medicine says:

It has to be essentially exercised. If they don’t do anything to maintain normal erections, they will get shortening of the penis.

Just don’t play with it too much, as the first point made abundantly clear…


The Mirror