Gynaecologist Finds Two Inch Cat Furball In Woman’s Vagina

By : Joseph LoftusTwitterLogo

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Since today is an absolutely beautiful day to be in the United Kingdom, I’ve decided it’s time to rain down on our sunshine-y happiness with this nauseating tale which I guarantee will leave you gagging in repulsion.

In this sunny country of ours, there are a lot of cat lovers – some more than others – and after learning of this poor blogger’s story, I’m incredibly thankful not to be much of a cat lover myself.

Anyhow, I’ll cut to the chase.

New York blogger, Michelle Barrow, used to sleep in the nude with her boyfriend while her two cats – Cricket and Donut – used to doze beside them, reports the Daily Mail. Nothing too weird so far.

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After a month of pretty intense stomach ache, Michelle decided it was best to bring it up with her gynaecologist in her next checkup.

Mrs Gynaecologist asked a couple of routine questions, before slipping her hands into latex gloves and getting stuck in to investigate.

Expecting to find a long lost tampon or an issue with ovarian cysts, both gynaecologist and Michelle alike were shocked with what was eventually discovered and exposed as the villain behind her lower abdominal pain.

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‘What the heck is that?’ roared the gynaecologist.

A 2-inch fur ball from Michelle’s cats was the answer.

Yep – holy fuck fuck fuck, I also feel like my mind has been unwillingly polluted.

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Oh, and the reason how it got there is even more sickening.

Apparently, while Michelle and her boyfriend were sleeping in the nude, malted cat hair became attached to her vagina and the end of his penis – and when they had sex, all that furry goodness became wrapped and tangled around her contraceptive coil, like a fishing lure draped in seaweed.

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The gynaecologist was unable to unlodge the thick abyss of cat hair so instead resorted to chopping the thing out with a pair of scissors.

Michelle recalled the moment she seen the hair for the first time in a post, saying:

HOLY SHIT THAT IS CAT HAIR THERE HAS BEEN A BALL OF CAT HAIR INSIDE ME FOR A MONTH THAT IS CAT HAIR AND IT WAS IN MY VAGINA A HAIRBALL HAS BEEN CAUSING MY DISCOMFORT HOLY SHIT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

And we’ll leave it at that. Don’t sleep with your cats, guys and gals…