Here’s Why You Should Always Be Careful Where You Jizz

By : Alex MaysTwitterLogo

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The internet occasionally throws up a glorious fuck up of epic proportion and this latest one certainly doesn’t disappoint.

Reddit user Avhandaxi took to the site to teach us a valuable lesson on why you should always be careful where you jizz and warning: It’s gross as fuck.

Recently I’ve been masturbating a lot. Like, 3-6 times a day. I don’t know if it’s because I’m bored or horny or what. Anyway, I pretty much always blow my load into this one shirt I have (gross, I know) and then just chuck it into my closet behind some stuff so my mom would never accidentally pick it up. My bedroom is upstairs, by the way.

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There’s quite a lot of judgement going his way already, but we’ll give him a chance. What happened next?

So I’m sitting in the basement on my computer, scrolling through Facebook, and I notice this super cute girl from my class has recently posted some vacation pictures… one thing leads to another and soon enough I’m going at it full force. I’m just about to finish when I realize: Fuck. My shirt is all the way upstairs.

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Shit, disaster. What’s he going to do!?

This train has absolutely no brakes, so I look over and see a Tim Horton’s coffee cup still with about an inch or two of coffee in it. Perfect, it won’t smell and I’ll just throw it out next time I go to upstairs. (No bathroom or garbage in my basement)
So part one of this fuck up is that I came in a coffee cup.

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Yeah, you could definitely describe that as a fuck up, but just you wait, this shit escalates very quickly.

The second part that I went upstairs to pee right after finishing and didn’t take the cup with me. Talk about lazy and absent minded…I’m sure you can see where this is going…

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Sadly, we really can mate. But go on…

Two hours later I’m still sitting at my desk doing a bit of programming. I obliviously reach over, and (to my delight) feel that the coffee cup still has a bit of coffee in it. I take it down it in one big gulp. Immediately after I swallowed I realized what I had done. TL;DR put too much cream in my coffee.

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Can the mind vomit? No-one wants a creamy top in their Nescafe.

Fellow Reddit users said pretty much what we were all thinking and pointed out the glaring error of his ways.

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While other apparent wanking pro’s offered some future tips:

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Another user didn’t even think that jizzing in a cup and drinking it was not actually the grimmest part of this tale.

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Oh internet, you’ve done it again.


Credits

Reddit/Avhandaxi

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