Robbie Williams Shares Creepy AF Sex Story About His ‘Cleaning Lady’

By : Kieron CurtisTwitterLogo

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Robbie Williams – the lovable scamp – has shared one of the creepiest sex stories you are ever likely to hear.

Appearing on the Graham Norton ShowΒ last night, the singer was asked β€˜what’s the maddest thing a fan has given you?’, and Pandora’s box was opened.

Robbie replied with a very blunt ‘herpes’, before sensing the time was right to share an NSFW anecdote the singer probably avoided at dinner parties for good reason…

1280px Banksy   Sweep at Hoxton Robbie Williams Shares Creepy AF Sex Story About His Cleaning LadyWikimedia

As reported by Digital Spy, the tale revolved around a promiscuous cleaner who was in no way actually a cleaner, but Robbie tells it best.

He recalled:

I was in this big room in this castle. I’ve got this sleeping bag. I woke up and I was laying on my bed. I was cognizant and I was awake but I hadn’t opened my eyes yet. I was getting more and more confused because I could swear there was somebody in my room.

I could swear that they were tidying up or cleaning or something. Sure enough, I open my eyes and there was a lady at the bottom of the bed. She could have been anywhere from 28 to 58. She’s got this headset on, it’s got this tape on it and the lead went down to cassette player…

She looks at me. I look at her. I went, ‘Alright?’ She went, ‘Alright?’ She looked on the floor where my underpants were, and she went, ‘Calvin Kleins? Pussy!’

He continued:

I’m like, okay, this is definitely really weird. She went, ‘Have you got morning glory?’ This is back in the day when I used to have morning glory! So I was like, ‘Yeah!’ She says, ‘I’ll wank you off!’ I’m really young and I can close my eyes and pretend it’s somebody else, so it’s like, ‘Yeah, go on then!

Anyway, she does the dirty deed and it’s confusing. I felt defiled. Off she went on her merry way!

BBC Robbie Williams Shares Creepy AF Sex Story About His Cleaning Lady

That night I was with the lady who ran the castle. I said, ‘Your cleaner’s weird!’ She said, ‘We don’t have cleaners on a Wednesday.’ It was just somebody who had walked in off the street come up and give me a hand job, and then left!

Cut to like three years later, I’m with my band and I’m like [telling them the castle story]. My guitarist went, ‘That’s Maureen from the pub! She said she did that but nobody believed her!

Creepy AF, and the internet agreed…

Many did see the funny side too.

Some were hoping for an American Horror Story/Robbie crossover…

But the talk show game is officially over, as nobody can top Robbie’s tale, apparently.

Never a dull moment with Mr Williams!


Credits

Digital Spy

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