The Bad Sex Award Nominations 2016 Are In

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Ladies and gentlemen, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for – it’s the bad sex award nominations 2016.

Yep, that’s right, and according to Electric Lit the nominees for the worst sex of 2016 have been released.

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So these sex awards might not be quite what you think… They’re actually for the worst sex depicted in erotic literature.

Ok then…

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Bizarrely, this weird award has been knocking around since the 90s and loves to name and shame authors, who ‘produce an outstandingly bad scene of sexual description.’

In an even more disturbing twist, last year’s winner was Morissey of all people, yes that’s right, the pro-vegetarian famed for iconic, British band, The Smiths, won an award for one of the worst lines in a saucy novel.

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Apparently, he described one of the scenes as, a ‘pained frenzy.’

But here’s my favourite, he then described a character as having a ‘bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement.’ Wow.

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So, surely not able to top that horrific line from Morrisey’s porno, here’s this years nominees:

A Doubter’s Almanac by Ethan Canin

Men Like Air by Tom Connolly

Ok then.

 The Day Before Happiness by Erri De Luca

Seems legit.

The Butcher’s Hook by Janet Ellis

This sounds terrifying and was written by a former children’s TV host…

Leave Me by Gayle Forman

The Tobacconist by Robert Seethaler

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The Smith’s singer’s line still does it for me, but perhaps this little corker from Men Like Air, will float your boat:

He watched her passport rise gradually out of the back pocket of her jeans in time with the rhythmic bobbing of her buttocks as she sucked him. He arched over her back and took hold of the passport before it landed on the pimpled floor.

Or not…


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Electric Literature

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