This Is What It’s Like To Be An Adult Movie Star And A Parent

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I don’t have any children, but I presume parenthood is hard enough at times, but have you ever wondered what it’s like to be a parent when your career is based in porn?

Well if you have – or even if you haven’t – former adult actress and parent turned writer, Aurora Snow, has wrote about the ins and outs of the predicament so that we can all know a little bit more about what it’s really like.

And, yes, mixing parenthood with sex work is hard. Very hard.

Writing for The Daily Beast in an essay on the matter which is going viral (again), Aurora writes:

Parents in adult entertainment are faced with having to build a wall that separates their work and home lives. More secrets, less conversation. And children have lots of questions.

How do you explain to your inquisitive offspring that sex is an intimate, important, sacred act to be shared with someone you love, and yet for mommy it’s a job?

As a mommy, I didn’t feel I could ever explain away the hypocrisy of my feelings. Now here I am, a retired porn star, in a loving, monogamous relationship and with a toddler of my own. I’m still debating how to have those conversations later in life.

In the massively eye-opening article, Aurora goes onto explain the perils of working in the adult industry while also being a parent, however her main point seems to stress that we, as society, need to dispel the taboo which surrounds sex work.

Referencing the shamed porn star Alana Evans, who spent over 20 years in porn while raising a family at the same time, Aurora writes: 

Evans was practically treated like a sex offender by this (her stepdaughters’) school. Occupations aren’t contagious—no matter how morally ambiguous—and being a sex worker certainly doesn’t make one a paedophile. Yet these are just a few of the disturbing prejudices mothers in the adult industry face.

When teachers became aware of Alana’s work they banned her from going to the school grounds where her stepdaughter studied. Alana didn’t dress inappropriately, hell she didn’t even wear make-up on school grounds, yet just because of the area of work she was involved in she wasn’t allowed in to watch her stepdaughter’s school plays.

Evans added:

The fact that I used my body to make my living caused my son to have more respect for me because it meant that it didn’t matter what I did to myself, I would do it for him.

He came home and said, ‘Ok Mom, they asked me in football practice if you do porn’ and my concern was, ‘what did you say?’ And he said, ‘I said yes, and no-one had a problem with it’.

The list of adult workers being dehumanised goes on and on and on, but I’ll try not to bore you. So while Aurora Snow says that being an adult worker and a parent is ‘seriously tricky business’, Stormy Daniels, who has recently returned to porn after leaving for maternity summarised the situation very well.

stormy This Is What Its Like To Be An Adult Movie Star And A ParentWikimedia

Stormy Daniels

When asked what she would say to her child when she is old enough to ask what she does, she said:

I’ll tell her Mommy has a job that some people don’t approve of, but Mommy’s proud of it and it’s for adults.

Though it’s a sad time when we cannot treat people as our equals just for merely having sex on camera (it’s probably worth adding that the majority of the hypocritical world views such material regularly), you have to admire Stormy’s confidence and pride in her response.

Maybe one day we’ll learn to accept.


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The Daily Beast and 1 other

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