While Brexit didn’t actually cause the destruction of our fair and noble land – though there’ll be time for that when article 50 is triggered – I think a lot of people would agree it wasn’t a great day for Britain.
From a reported rise in racist abuse to the pound losing an imperial (no metric now) shit tonne of its value, Brexit shockingly failed to restore The Empire, make the old young again, stop immigration, or do anything really.
But there’s a silver lining to the shit-smeared cloud that leaving Europe is sure to be, booze may be about to get cheaper, so at least we can drown our sorrows, The Daily Star reports.
The reason why alcohol could be coming down in price is a new deal proposed by Steven Ciobo, Australia’s trade minister, who hopes to offer the UK cut-price booze once we leave the EU.
Mr Ciobo told the BBC:
Cheap Australian wine I think is a good fringe benefit of a FTA (free trade agreement) if we are able to put one in place.
This is good news for those who enjoy a tipple in the evening as it had been reported that ending EU import duty would cut between 10p and 15p off a litre of wine.
Mr Ciobo believes a deal between the UK and Oz could happen quickly because we have long-standing close ties and negotiations could begin once the UK have fully left the EU.
Everyone’s favourite Prime Minister Teresa May has confirmed that she won’t trigger Article 50 until 2017 though, so we’ve got some time before the cheap booze starts flowing.
Unfortunately, in other Brexit -based news, things seem slightly bleaker, with one expert believing Europe will be a more attractive trading partner than the UK.
Retired British trade negotiator, Roderick Abbott, told Reuters:
Nobody with any sense from China, the U.S., Brazil or wherever is going to engage with the UK other than a friendly drink in the bar until the UK has a regime with the EU.
Basically, the UK are the international equivalent of that kid at school who doesn’t have any good Pokémon cards to trade while Europe’s got 5 Charizards and is handing them out to all his friends.
In practical terms, this may mean reduced trade and less money, but who needs money when you’re pissed?