A British former pornstar has spoken out about her life in the industry which ultimately destroyed her life.
Starting out as a model, Emma Bryant quickly made the leap up into x-rated films, working under the name Jessica Jensen, in an attempt to ‘feel accepted’, however despite making a lot of money from it, the success all came crumbling down.
Emma soon fell in love with another pornstar and, at first, everything was going incredibly well, but it wasn’t long until her significant other became a controlling monster.
Feeling subhuman and worthless, Emma hit the bottle in a desperate last minute attempt to self-medicate, at some points downing a full bottle of vodka every day just to distance herself from reality.
Emma claims that the majority of the abuse was verbal, emotional, and psychological – prompting her to turn to alcoholism, but as expected, Bryant soon found herself in A&E after she began to violently vomit blood.
I was young when I went into the industry. I never did anything too crude, but I made a lot of money from it. I never thought I’d love somebody and lose everything I ever had along the way.
My former partner was really charming and nice. When we got together we never spent any time apart. We were inseparable.
But he never introduced me to anyone as his girlfriend. That made me feel that we were never really together. I knew there was something wrong.
In the harrowing 13-minute video, Emma continued to talk about the abuse, saying:
He was never nice to me. It seemed he was only happy when I was on the floor crying.
Every night before I would leave he would always hug me, kiss me, so that my last memory would be a nice one and that is what kept me going back and I see it now.
That’s what made me think that he could change and be like this more often. But he preyed on me, I felt like I was a pawn in his game.
I went through a phase of drinking vodka on a daily basis. Then, on one occasion, I was vomiting blood and went to A&E. I think that was my way of saying ‘help’.
Emma added that the domestic abuse she was subjected to was rarely physical, however, she claims that sometimes she wishes that it was so that she could show others the scars and bruises of her abuse.
In a miraculous turn of events, Emma has now put her hand to YouTube pranks, comedy, and acting – starring in Game of Thrones and Filth.
I like to make people happy, and that was what kept me going – people making me smile – so now I want to do the same.
I want to be inspiring to other people. Don’t be afraid to talk about it, help is out there, but ultimately the only person who can help yourself is you and you can be strong enough.