Cast your minds back a couple of days.
Does the name William Lloyd ring a bell? You know, the guy who refuses to go down on women?
Well his former girlfriend has hit back, and claims that William may have been telling a couple of porkie pies.
Rhianna Kemi wrote him an open letter, through the Huffington Post, and it goes like this:
He claimed that after finally finding someone, he “never went down on her”. This girl is me.
The story ends with his going down for the first (and last) time, traumatised as she “ejaculated all over my face”.
Alright, OK. One point to get out the way: the facts are simply not true. I can safely confirm that he went down on me several times during our relationship. In fact, he would ask to go down and I would often politely decline.
Why did I say no? Because, to be honest, it just didn’t feel that good.
I waited for a long time and when the moment finally happened, I felt less pleasured and more awkward.
It is an art, my friends. I highly doubt that you can make a girl come using your tongue the first time you try it. I’ve seen porn and trust me, it really isn’t as easy as they make it look to make a girl “arch and shiver”.
I didn’t enjoy him licking me out and he couldn’t understand why. The problem was that I felt too aware of myself and my surroundings. I felt too aware of the head at my hips.
You can’t just place your tongue ‘down there’ and expect magic to happen, as films and porn have led us to believe. A lot of it is in the mind. To use your tongue to make a girl scream, you’ve got to make her forget herself.
But it takes time and practice on your part. It will be frustrating. We’re all about the quick wins in this generation, but you’ve got to take it slow.
You’ve got to talk about it and learn from each other. You’ve got to warm her right up, before heading downstairs. Otherwise it will, to be honest, feel like the tongue of a wet dog lapping it up whilst we sigh, look up at the ceiling and think about the next episode of Scandal.
The real reason you don’t want to go down anymore isn’t because you made a girl come and it was unpleasant. It’s because you are scared of the awkward silence of the girl who isn’t enjoying it.
That’s okay, but give us a break. Damn, I’m tired of guys who refuse to try. Put the effort in and give us our time to enjoy ourselves. If licking out is gross for you, you are doing it wrong.
And this time babe, it is not about you. You have a large platform and you chose to rehearse the same tired story: it’s gross, don’t bother.
So let’s change the conversation. Let’s learn to make the girl forget herself.
So there you have it.
Apparently, William is actually doing the female population a favour.