We’d imagine 50 Cent is quite lucky in love, but his new beau has proved nothing short of unresponsive.
The rapper posted photos to Instagram showing himself simulating sex acts on a statue, as he celebrated the launch of his own-brand EFFEN vodka at a Dallas nightclub.
You know, as you do…
Although a picture is worth a thousand words, Fiddy opted to caption the photos with an eloquent example of his modern-day poetry:
I told her all I needed was time to talk to her. I was trying to figure out why she was so cold. (Detroit playa shit)
The wooing (along with Fiddy’s commentary) went on:
As I continued to speak, I could see she was intrigued by the things I said to her.
In the end though, Fifty’s valiant efforts to take the perfectly-formed statuesque lady to his Candy Shop culminated in a cold, hard rejection.
Then I said you know you want to give me some, stop playing so much girl DAMN we grown. LMAO she a cold freak. ? SHE SUCK ME OUT THE FRIEND ZONE.
Fifty seemed undeterred and refused to let this unfortunate incident dampen his spirits. By the looks of the video shot by other party-goers, there were plenty of other fish in the pool anyway.
— DJ Whoo Kid (@DJWhooKid) September 5, 2016
Perhaps he’ll file this fail under ‘Get laid or die trying’.
After all that vodka, we can hardly blame the guy.