Marnie Simpson’s Secret Celebrity Big Brother Sex Plan Revealed

By : Joseph Loftus |


Kissing 600192Channel 5

For the past gazillion years people have moaned that Celebrity Big Brother is far past its sell-by date, however, the feral cesspit that is CBB just keeps on giving.

This year, our television screens have been graced by a whole room of fucking nobodies. There’s a lot of famous for nothing reality stars destined to be famous for something, plus a lot of old farts trying to cling onto their once mediocre fame for a millisecond longer.

Essentially it’s a disaster, like a Channel Five investigative program into purgatory. But still, us helpless buffoons continue to tune in night after night and gaze effortlessly, in anger, at the freaks that grace our screens.

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Some viewers have even come up with a theory – that Marnie (yep, I barely know her either) has a secret sex plot to win Big Brother, reports the Daily Star.

After bedding another ‘reality star’ on last night’s show, having a three way kiss with (you guessed it) another ‘reality star’, and throwing her tits in the face of crumbling TV personality Saira Khan, fans are pretty convinced the Geordie will do absolutely anything sexual just to win the show.

As if this wasn’t enough chaos for the confines of one highly-publicised house, there is also a raging sexism row brewing after Aaron was kicked out of the house for flashing his manhood last year, while Marnie was kept in the house for flashing herself in Saira’s face.

That’s enough talk of television for one day. I want to go back to the dark ages. Ain’t no Celebrity Big Brother back then.


Daily Star