For the past gazillion years people have moaned that Celebrity Big Brother is far past its sell-by date, however, the feral cesspit that is CBB just keeps on giving.
This year, our television screens have been graced by a whole room of fucking nobodies. There’s a lot of famous for nothing reality stars destined to be famous for something, plus a lot of old farts trying to cling onto their once mediocre fame for a millisecond longer.
Essentially it’s a disaster, like a Channel Five investigative program into purgatory. But still, us helpless buffoons continue to tune in night after night and gaze effortlessly, in anger, at the freaks that grace our screens.
Some viewers have even come up with a theory – that Marnie (yep, I barely know her either) has a secret sex plot to win Big Brother, reports the Daily Star.
After bedding another ‘reality star’ on last night’s show, having a three way kiss with (you guessed it) another ‘reality star’, and throwing her tits in the face of crumbling TV personality Saira Khan, fans are pretty convinced the Geordie will do absolutely anything sexual just to win the show.
— Dawn (@DawnieHardy) August 3, 2016
Get that absolute sewer rat marnie out of #cbb she will do anything for air time and it's just so embarrassing
— Ais (@Aisliiing) August 3, 2016
This is like a fake Big Brother made up to be shown as clips in a sitcom. #cbb
— Liam (@TribalSpaceman) August 2, 2016
GET OFF BIG BROTHER AND STOP RUINING IT WITH YOUR FAKE BULLSHITTTTT #CBB
— LewisJ815 (@LJay815) August 2, 2016
Marnie has definately let herself down in the CBB house
— Laurel (@Laurelleemay) August 3, 2016
— Courtney (@cour93) August 3, 2016
As if this wasn’t enough chaos for the confines of one highly-publicised house, there is also a raging sexism row brewing after Aaron was kicked out of the house for flashing his manhood last year, while Marnie was kept in the house for flashing herself in Saira’s face.
Sexist again on CBB, Marnie waves her tits in Siara's personal space, if that was a lad with his d**k there would be uproar!!! #CBBUK
— Emma Cheetham (@EmmaCheetham4) August 2, 2016
So many double standards on #CBB If the Marnie shoving her boobs at Saira, was a man doing it to Saira, it'd be sexual assault.
— Gracie Holzinger (@Old_IrishGirl) August 3, 2016
— steve owen (@steveowen8431) August 3, 2016
That’s enough talk of television for one day. I want to go back to the dark ages. Ain’t no Celebrity Big Brother back then.