Danny Dyer just reached peak Danny Dyer after enlightening the world with a shocking claim about his early masturbatory habits.
To be a bit more specific, Dyer told the hundreds of thousands of Very British Problems viewers a little anecdote about his first wank – and he really didn’t hold back.
Speaking on the show, he said:
My first wank was Madonna. I was a big fan of Madonna.
So it wasn’t the girls in school, I think my first pedal was over Madonna, mid-eighties when she was fit.
But that’s not all the EastEnders actor had to say about her – because of course it wasn’t…
When asked if he still blows the ol’ load while fantasising about the Papa Don’t Preach singer, the former chairman of Greenwich Borough FC said:
I wouldn’t wank over her now, she looks fucked.
And there you have it folks. The most Danny Dyer-esque sentence of all time. The show’s over. The game has changed.
Nothing better than a fake East London gangster turned ‘actor’ insulting a literal music superstar.
And this isn’t the only time Dyer has brought shock to the eyes of his viewers – just last month, while appearing on Celebrity Juice, the actor boasted he had ‘one massive bollock’ before flashing the old boy to Holly Willoughby.
Madonna is yet to respond but we’d genuinely love to hear her thoughts on this revelation.