Personally, Eurovision isn’t really my ideal way of spending a Saturday night, but things changed when a friend of mine promised me that a bet on Sweden to finish in the top four was almost certainty.
I’m easily swayed and almost instantly launched more than a handful of pounds on the Scandinavians before watching the incredibly tiresome show on the edge of my seat.
When Ukraine spiralled out of nowhere and pushed Sweden into fifth place, I think it’s safe to say that I did watch Eurovision; I watched Eurovision with tears eternally rolling down my cheeks.
But other than my own perpetual misery, what were the seven most fucked up moments from last nights show?
Here’s our seven.
1) Okay first up on the fucked up cards is Holland, when their contestant decided to stop halfway through his song to stare directly into the camera for ten seconds, as if trying to take over your mind – smiling seductively, saying ‘vote for me’.
2) When Weird Al Yankovic / Tiny Tim decided to represent Poland:
And people really noticed:
— Kevin Klose (@NichtTomJones) May 14, 2016
OUT OF NOWHERE, 222 POINTS FOR WEIRD AL YANKOVIC pic.twitter.com/nMUxBu70Eu
— danny (@dpfelix) May 14, 2016
3) This zoom as Cyrpus’ totally fucked up song, which involved a bunch of guys in cages, began:
Cyprus were great purely for the extreme zoom inAdvertisement
— 🎅Bread Fan Account⛄ (@_Fear0fTheDark_) May 14, 2016
i know we're like five songs on or whatever but i can't stop thinking of that dramatic zoom in the cyprus performance
— ellie (@dunathema) May 14, 2016
4) When the Spanish contestant threw herself at the floor before it all went black. Nobody knows if it was intentional or not.
— Lewis OS (@lewis_os) May 14, 2016
Did Spain just fall over..
— Billie Myers (@BillieMyers) May 14, 2016
Even the bookies took the piss out of her. Like they did to me as they drained my bank account:
— Coral (@Coral) May 14, 2016
5) The phenomenally bizarre documentary about how much Sweden loves Eurovision which included shots of baptising a child ‘Katrina and the Waves’ and a maths class revolving around the Eurovision points system.
But personally my favourite two moments are up next.
6) When Australia was over 200 points in the lead and everybody thought they’d won it, including themselves.
7) Only for Ukraine to get an absolutely random massive amount of points from the public and go on to win:
I think it’s safe to say that this years Eurovision was the most fucked up ever…