I can’t imagine that the directors’ intentions in these films was to make them utterly cringeworthy and completely hilarious, but that’s exactly what happened in this little lot…
From Madonna trying to act as a seductress, to Jennifer Lopez playing a lesbian, these next few clips prove that, apparently, anything goes in the world of Hollywood sex scenes, according to Digital Spy anyway.
Body Of Evidence
Let’s start with what worryingly, wasn’t Madonna’s acting debut, but nonetheless showcases her as a rather frightening Femme Fatale.
Her favourite ‘alluring,’ tactics in this dodgy 90s film, appear to involve pouring champagne on a guy who looks like he’s in real pain, brandishing a candle at him and then licking it off – pretty scary stuff.
This next clip is all kinds of awkward, with slow motion thrusting to the late Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’ combined with what looks like a weird, rubber owl suit.
All of that with a bizarre shot of a spaceship ‘firing off’ at the end renders the whole thing a messed up cocktail of comedy.
The way in which these blue, alien-type creatures get down and dirty is just plain strange.
It can’t just be me who thinks it’s really awkward and confusing to watch as their ponytails entwine in an act of passion.
Having sex with your hair is a sure fire way to cause all sorts of problems.
Howard The Duck
There is so much wrong with this, I’m not sure where to start. First off, there’s the issue of beastiality – need I say more?
Secondly, the duck doesn’t appear to want her attention, making the whole act all the more disturbing.
And finally, (although I could go on) is it supposed to be comedy or a scene from a horror film, as frankly I’m just not sure…
Last, but by no means the least of this priceless bunch, I present to you Jenny from the block posing as a lesbian who gets swayed by Ben Affleck.
The stand out line: “It’s turkey time. Gobble gobble,” is hands down one of the weirdest and funniest sex lines possibly uttered in La-La land.
Maybe don’t watch these with your nan…