If you’re really desperate for a job, a lonely woman is seeking a person to dress up like a cat and watch over her while she sleeps, in what may be the creepiest Gumtree advert ever.
Sophie, who hasn’t given a last name, wants someone to wear a cat costume, walk on all fours and purr her to sleep, for which she says she’ll pay the princely sum of up to £30 an hour, reports The Mirror.
Now, before you go thinking this job’s too weird for you, there are perks. For one, she promises to provide milk and tuna – you just can’t eat or drink it while she’s still awake. Because cats are nocturnal, apparently.
Working conditions are also a bit harsh – you’re welcome to use the toilet, but only when she’s been asleep for two hours, so don’t go drinking all that lovely free milk too quickly.
The job advert, titled ‘cat to sit on the foot of my bed at night’ was posted by Sophie, who lives in Ballarat, Australia, on Gumtree this week.
Sophie insists that this isn’t a joke, and said:
I’m looking for somebody to curl up on the end of my bed and purr softly like a sleeping kitten as I sleep.
I have had a lot of trouble sleeping and I think it would be comforting falling asleep to the sound of a cat purring and also knowing that someone is there to keep an eye on me as I sleep.
Unfortunately, she claims that while she’d love a pet cat, she doesn’t have the time to clean up after it.
So she took the only reasonable option and used a public advert to invite strangers into her house and purr for her, like any sane person would when they’re too bone idle to clean up after a cat.
Sophie says she will pay $60 (£28) to someone who can make ‘a nice and relaxing purr’, but if your purrs aren’t up to scratch then you can only expect a measly $35-$40 (£16-£18).
According to Sophie, the lucky successful applicant will be required to work three nights between the hours of 11pm and 6am.
Despite this being one of the creepiest Gumtree posts ever, Sophie told news.co.au she had actually received several replies, which just goes to show you that idiots will do anything for money.
One applicant was Thomas, a 33-year-old with long hair and a ‘very good’ purr. While another, Natalie, made her case, saying: ‘I have studied cat behaviour.’
Sadly, Sophie said she’ll probably have to remove the ad because there wasn’t enough room on her bed, with herself, her partner and dog taking up the space…
Seriously, what the fuck?