Is that a python in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Apparently, one bungling attempted thief decided to test this theory out once and for all, as he attempted to steal a snake from a pet store by shoving it down his pants.
The bizarre incident went down in Florida (because of course it did) and was captured on CCTV.
Pinellas County deputies said that Travis Treder went into Animal House Pet Center in Saint Augustine asking about the reptiles that were for sale, the Daily Mail reports.
However, like any sane shopper would, he then proceeded to open a cage in the store, grab a baby coiling python and shove it down his trousers. Because what could possibly go wrong?
Treder didn’t make it out of the store with the snake, however, as staff recognised him as the same man behind a pair of similar thefts over the last year.
An employee tried to stop the slippery customer as he tried to make his escape but Treder reportedly pushed them out of the way.
Fortunately, an off-duty security guard was on hand and restrained him until police arrived.
Speaking to Florida news channel WFLA, store owner Steve Silk said:
We waited on him for probably 15 minutes and then we went into the office to see what he was going to do, and sure enough, he targeted our higher-end snakes again.
Silk also said Treder has stolen lizards and other reptiles on two separate occasions in the last nine months. What an absolute snake!