Apparently A Lot Of People Want To Have Sex With This Piece Of Chocolate

By : Joseph LoftusTwitterLogo

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Ms Green MMs on Couch Apparently A Lot Of People Want To Have Sex With This Piece Of ChocolateM&Ms

Writing for UNILAD for the past six months, I’ve had to write about a lot of crazy shit, you can’t even imagine. But this, this – is really fucked up.

I’m gonna jump the gun here and put it bluntly – have you ever fantasised about fucking an M&M? Particularly the green one?

maxresdefault 17 Apparently A Lot Of People Want To Have Sex With This Piece Of ChocolateM&Ms

Now I’m not being weird – this isn’t a high ranking fantasy of mine, but according to The Daily Dot, there’s a lot of people out there who want to eat the Green M&M in more ways than one.

I can imagine that meeting at M&M HQ:

Managing Director: (Stressed out) Okay guys. We need to think and we need to think now. We need a new M&M character. Sales have been low and I, I, I’m gonna be honest with you guys, I just don’t know what to do.

Think tank #1: What about a new Red M&M everybody loves the…

Managing Director: No Gerry, nobody gives a fuck about the Red M&M anymore. It’s old news. It’s done. Finished. Forget about it.

(Silence plagues the board room)

Think Tank #2: Maybe we could do like a nerdy M&M?

Think Tank #3: Yeah, something educational – you know, ‘stay in school’ sort of thing. Could be good for the brand?

Managing Director: You two, I got news for ya. I don’t give a fuck about the brand. What I care about is sales and right now we ain’t got none of them. So do your job and think.

Radical Intern: What about a Green M&M?

Managing Director: Keep talking…

Radical Intern: Well, it could be a sexy M&M. Nobody cares about humour and chocolate anymore. What we need is sex.

And thus the Green M&M was born. And it’s certainly been doing the business.

ararasfa Apparently A Lot Of People Want To Have Sex With This Piece Of Chocolate

Miss Green is one of only two female M&M’s so I guess there isn’t too much to fantasise about – and with her long legs, laced with thigh high boots, her perpetually raised eyebrows, long eyelashes, and those dark, dark eyes – it’s easy to see why her appeal is just sex sex sex.

No I’m joking – fictitious chocolate just doesn’t do it for me anymore. And if chocolate ever was hot, it’d melt so…


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The Daily Dot

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