186-Year-Old Tortoise, Oldest Living Creature In World, Comes Out As Gay

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The world’s oldest living tortoise and creature has come out as gay.

The sexuality of Jonathan, 186, has managed to bemuse people for decades thanks to him never having children.

They saw him taking on the natural world with his female companion Frederica but never rolling up his sleeves and starting a family.

Well, an explanation may be available.

Frederica, it turns out, is actually more likely to be a male tortoise than a female. A recent examination of Frederica due to ill health revealed a deformity to the tortoise’s shell and cast considerable doubt over the sex of Jonathan’s companion, reports The Times.

Yep, it has taken decades and someone actually reviewing the anatomy of Frederica for someone to suggest that Jonathan might in fact be gay.

Jonathan came to the island of Saint Helena, a British Overseas Territory in the South Atlantic, in 1882 Р fifty years after he hatched in 1832.

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He was named in the 1930s by Governor Sir Spencer Davis.

It’s a shame Jonathan and the rest of his clan cannot speak, but he’s seen some stuff man.

The guy’s lived through seven monarchs, God knows how many Presidents and just about enough global wars to knacker any old tortoise out.

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But Jonathan remains strong and stable, holding court like it’s the 19th century.

His secret? We don’t know. I’ve contacted his team for an interview and will get back to you.

Keep doing you, Jonathan.