Children. Who’d have them, hey?
Well, lots of people do. But when doggos and puppers can be taught how to fetch your pipe and slippers, grab you a beer from the fridge, and now can apparently teach themselves how to use the toilet even, it’s a wonder we still opt for babies.
One clever dog is seemingly miles ahead of the pack when it comes to house training, as it has taught itself to use the toilet. Who’s a good dog?!
According to the dog’s owner, Sonny Keenan, from California:
I got home from work at 5 am and noticed poop in my son’s training toilet, and thought ‘that’s weird how did my wife miss this?’
I checked the cameras and this is what I found.
You may have found poop Sonny, but this here video is gold.
As the footage shows, the dog skilfully navigates the small training toilet, manoeuvring himself over the bowl, popping a squat and curling one out. And it all got recorded on camera! If this was my dog, I’d be so proud. This pooch is a freaking genius.
Then again, we all know how proud dogs are of their own achievements, as this pooch proved while out for a walk.
Sara Middleton, from Northumberland, was out walking with her dog Flossie when her lovable dog found a love toy discarded in the bushes. It’s unclear how the bright pink toy came to be out in the wild, in a bush it wasn’t designed for, but Flossie appeared absolutely delighted with her find and refused to give it up.
The basset hound then proceeded to keep the toy and happily marched on for the rest of the two-mile walk with the eight-inch sex toy in her mouth.
As Sara said:
Flossie was literally buzzing with her new find and proceeded to carry it for 2 miles, proud with her tail in the air. Praying to God that no one would see us, you can guarantee we were seen.
As I continually muttered Flossie you arsehole, “put it down”, ” leave it!!”, she continued to walk on. The other dog walker looked, laughed and said “most owners give their dog a ball”, as I started to go 50 shades of red!!!…Look how proud she looks.
I bet Flossie knew exactly what she was doing.
If you have a story you want to tell send it to UNILAD via [email protected]
Charlie Cocksedge is a journalist at UNILAD. He graduated from the University of Manchester with an MA in Creative Writing, where he learnt how to write in the third person, before getting his NCTJ. His work has also appeared in such places as The Guardian, PN Review and the bin.