Borrusia Dortmund centre back Marc Bartra pissed a lot of people off on Christmas Day.
Did he burn the roasties to a charcoal black, get too drunk and plaster the bathroom floor in vomit, or insult the in-laws in an alcohol fuelled row? Perhaps, but that’s not why he’s going viral for all the wrong reasons.
No, how Bartra ruined JC’s birthday was simply by getting the wrong present – a chimp, according to Who Ate All The Pies.
Now admittedly it probably wasn’t Marc who bought the damn thing but animal rights experts of the internet where quick to quip that raising a chimp in a German apartment is simply just cruel, no matter who acquired the great ape.
Numerous scientific experiments and countless hours of research have found that raising a chimp in the big city is not a good idea.
According to the Jane Goodall Institute, who have dedicated years into the research of Chimpanzees, bringing one up as a pet can even have disastrous consequences.
In a post on their website, they wrote:
Chimpanzee and monkey infants are irresistibly cute, and it might seem that raising one would be just like raising a human child.
As infants, chimpanzees are affectionate, needy, and a delight to interact with. But chimpanzees grow up fast, and their unique intelligence makes it difficult to keep them stimulated and satisfied in a human environment.
By age five they are stronger than most human adults. They become destructive and resentful of discipline. They can, and will, bite. Chimpanzee owners have lost fingers and suffered severe facial damage.
Twitter users were very quick to echo this statement:
a chimp is not a pet, this is not something to encourage. https://t.co/4LbekgUYzJ
— Gareth Dean (@GarethDeanPR) December 27, 2016
— Parmenides von Elea (@ParmenidesvonE) December 26, 2016
to everyone watching this video. Please bear in mind that chimpanzees do NOT make good pets. It's cruel and dangerous.
— Addy (@adriana_lowe) December 27, 2016
primates are not pets :( This is so sad. Please be an example and realise that these chimps belong in the wild!
— Fran (@franalsworth) December 27, 2016
A chimp is not for Christmas, and it certainly isn’t for a swanky Dortmund apartment.
Hopefully the defender sees sense and a suitable home is found ASAP!
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.