Having spent almost every Easter, summer, and fall in Co. Mayo, Ireland for the past 20 years you’d think I’d have pretty much mastered the complex Irish dialect of rural farmers.
You’d be wrong.
Far away from the land of the shamrock and heather, it is borderline impossible to understand what these two wild farmers from Mount Brandon, Kerry are talking about, according to RTE News.
Hell, their Joyceian pintmen local tongue is even confusing the fuck out of Irishmen and women too.
The two farmers, who will no doubt live on forever thanks to this video, can be seen discussing the theft of around 60 sheep on Mount Brandon which are worth thousands of pounds.
Now Richie Griffin is the second farmer in the video – but his accent is relatively understandable. Although he’s without doubt a Kerry man, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what he’s saying.
But the first farmer? Mikey Joe O’Shea. He’s a different kettle of fish.
— Aislinn O'Toole (@AislinnOT) April 9, 2017
Much like fine wine or a night at the opera, I can only hope to one day understand it.
(I loved it)
— Sarah (@sarahs_mindtank) April 10, 2017
What language is that dude speaking?!
— Sean (@rabdaawg) April 9, 2017
Elaine: that 1st farmers accent? Jaysus
— RedRightThrough (@IrishCathGemini) April 9, 2017
In the interview, Mikey explains how he discovered 50 of his Scottish sheep had been stolen ahead of the lambing season – or at least, that’s what I think he’s saying.
Here I planned to write a section of what I thought Mikey was saying but I simply don’t have that sort of literary talent.
Some of the beautiful lyrics that sept out of his mouth were pure poetry. Inconceivable but poetry. Like the hypothetical lovechild of John B Keane and Graham Linehan.
On a serious note though – let’s hope these sheep are found and returned to the likes of Mikey Joe.
Joseph Loftus is a Gold Standard NCTJ journalist with four years experience working for international and regional press.
As well as working for UNILAD and LADbible, Joseph has worked as Liverpool Correspondent for Unsigned & Independent Magazine, as well as stints with the Liverpool Echo and Warrington Guardian.