Out of all the horrible things humans can experience on this planet, I’d say getting covered in poo is up there.
For some reason it’s hard to imagine a way out of getting crapped on. A practical tactic once it’s happened beyond sitting/standing there in total shock and disgust.
All poo is bad. There’s no genre of it that could slide down the side of your face and fail to horrify you.
When I was younger a bird defecated right on my nose, which, as things go in order to save people the embarrassment and PTSD that comes with being a pigeon’s fecal dartboard was congratulated as ‘good luck’.
I received no such thing. To this day I live in fear of a bird laying waste to my nose at the click of a finger and assume I always will. You win some, you lose some.
It’s why I sympathise with this girl who sits frozen in the passenger seat of a car having been caked in kitten dung.
Look at this face. A truly coming-of-age moment. Up until this moment, it was all lollipops, trampolines and play-doh. Not anymore. You know where you are? You’re in the jungle, baby.
Watch it here:
Absolute scenes. But is it all that bad? Do I and others like me need to re-assess our childhood nightmares of animal poo? Unfortunately not. Animal poo has no benefits to us mortals. Human poo on the other hand… now you’re getting somewhere.
As it happens, and bare with me here, your own poo – and the intake of it – is not actually bad for you apparently.
Say you’re on the toilet, or anywhere – it doesn’t really matter. Say out of the blue you suddenly soil yourself so bad it shoots up into the air and lands all over you. Disturbingly, one piece goes straight in your mouth. ‘No way!’ you say. ‘I just ate my own poo!’ Do not fret. As long as it’s yours, and you’re relatively healthy, everything’s gonna be OK.
Daniel Pomp, PhD, professor, UNC School of Global Public Health told Gawker (RIP):
A big difference between urine and poop is that urine is sterile while poop is, well, you know, smelly and full of bacteria.
That said, those are the same bacteria that live in your gut and play many healthy roles in your body, so coprophagy is not necessarily unhealthy unless the poop originates from an unhealthy individual.
P.K. Newby, ScD, MPH, MS nutrition scientist and food writer, added:
Bottom line: the human body is a wondrous machine, with complex systems designed to extract nutrients from food and, during metabolism, excrete the waste products in the form of both liquids (urine) and solids (feces). The body is not 100% efficient, however (no machine is), so there could be some residual nutrition left in the waste.
That said, whatever small amount of nutrition that remains, which can have utility in some cases—-a likely explanation why certain species do eat their poop, like dogs; why poop from some species provides nutrients for others; etc—-it’s not a terribly efficient way of obtaining energy and nutrition for humans.
Basically, it’s not a waste of time, but it’s not really helpful either. If you’re healthy and wanna eat your own poo, awesome! Let’s just not kid ourselves about it being better for you than, say, fruit.
Also, and I can’t stress this enough, if you are going to eat poo, do NOT eat anyone’s other than your own.
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