From Eiffel Tower-top declarations of love to the classic candlelit dinner proposal, there are countless ways to get down on bended knee.
Before this morning, I firmly believed there was no right or wrong way to ask for somebody’s hand in marriage, with the love between two people being all that really mattered in the end.
How naive I was. It turns out there is actually a very, very wrong way to propose to someone and it involves the udder of a – no doubt infuriated – cow.
If you’re anything like me, you will enjoy having a sly snigger at some of the daft posts on Facebook groups such as That’s It, I’m Ring Shaming: The Wreckoning, a refreshingly cynical anecdote to the earnest ‘She Said Yes!’ updates of post-25 internet life.
However, I have just seen a post so grim that it couldn’t even get the faintest titter out of me. Indeed, it may well have put me off the idea of marriage altogether.
The post in question shows a diamond encrusted ring placed onto the udder of a cow, who I can safely assume wasn’t feeling the romance of the moment.
The startling photo was posted by a young woman from Singapore, who claims it popped up on her Facebook feed from a loved-up farmer in a shudder-inducing example of why you shouldn’t mix business with pleasure.
Wading in on someone else’s special moment, the woman wrote:
Shaming the ring and the whole photoshoot, The person is a farmer. Still doesn’t excuse his bad taste. And is this considered a nipple ring? Also, the band is thicker than the center stone.
If my eyeballs are forced to suffer through this nonsense I’m dragging everyone down with me.
The response to the post was one of pure, collective horror, with widespread concern for the cow who almost definitely had to awkwardly suffer through the happy couple’s engagement commencing after this indignity. Probably before toasting their impending nuptials with a champagne bottle full of milk.
One person said:
Oh my god. How big is your finger that you can fit your ring on a teat? And boy, there are so many better ways to show off you’re in dairy.
This is the worst thing I’ve ever seen in my whole life ever and I’ve watched Friends six times.
Udderly disturbing behaviour. But, congrats I guess…
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Jules studied English Literature with Creative Writing at Lancaster University before earning her masters in International Relations at Leiden University in The Netherlands (Hoi!). She then trained as a journalist through News Associates in Manchester. Jules has previously worked as a mental health blogger, copywriter and freelancer for various publications.