It’s a dog’s life for this pampered Cockapoo, who will be treated to 68 festive presents worth over £1,000 come Christmas morning courtesy of his loyal human.
Helen Mueller loves her Very Good Girl, Lola, so much she goes to some pretty extreme lengths to keep her pooch on side.
The mum-of-one even admits she spends more on Lola each year than her own six-year-old son, Harry, because she loves Lola more.
On Christmas day, Lola will unwrap her gifts, which include premium toys and clothes – and a special doggie Christmas roast.
This year, she’s definitely getting more gifts than Harry. I tried to hide that from Harry last year, but this time it’s so obvious because there’s so many.
I do love my Lola more than Harry.
You know, Lola never moans about homework, and she never complains about what’s for dinner.
She had her first snow yesterday, and I came in and realised I hadn’t taken any pictures of Harry – but had absolutely loads of Lola, and that’s what always happens.
Lola’s gifts include, but are not excluded to Keratine leave in conditioner for a tenner, pet shampoos costing £37, paw pearls – whatever they are – for £17, five totally unnecessary doggy colognes totalling £45, and a cockapoo 2018 calendar which Lola herself features in for another tenner.
Lola will receive a paw patrol teddy for £4 and a Paw patrol plate for ten big ones, rabbit pyjamas for £12, three connectable treat holders, costing a total of £42, a pink princess bowl for £7.
She will also get a pink soft blanket for £22, personalised red Christmas named blanket for £27, a yellow duck striped plate for £15 – because a dog can never have too many plates and a £4 hedgehog toy.
The list continues: Keratine oil for her fur at £19, Lola’s yellow coat to match mummy Helena at £42, little backpack harness at £40, pink hippo striped treat holder at £6, striped name toys at £10, main present dehydrator for a whopping £147.
There’s a Goldilocks doll at £17, pink heart bowl at £15, pink heart lead at £18, pink heart collar at £11, teething ring dog toy at £12, pink dummy toy at £7, box of her favourite fish skin treats for a huge £47, and a dog crinkle teddy toy for £7.
For stocking fillers, she gets dinosaur dental bites at £9, caramel Yappachino biscuits at £11, giraffe striped chew toy at £8, Joules dog shaped bag at £28, Brian the Cockapoo story book for £14, pink and purple Korny toy for £7, pink clothes hangers for Lola’s outfits at £10, a Christmas cracker for a meagre £2, a poo emoji string bag for £9.99, and a treat pamper brush, also £9.
Helena explained why Lola gets so many gifts, saying:
She’s changed my life so much, we got her because I have an only child, Harry, who was four at the time. That was on 5 September 2015, when Lola was eight weeks old – everyone was like, ‘Why are you getting a dog, that’s so much responsibility!’
They said, ‘You can’t go out anywhere,’ and all these ridiculous things, but it’s just not true. We do everything together, she comes running with me and absolutely everything!
I have to keep checking the ground in the summer though, to make sure it’s not too hot for her – I bought her a special buggy just in case.
Admitting her behaviour is obsessive, Helena added:
Yes I am obsessive, I don’t disturb her if she’s asleep- like if she’s cuddled up on me on the sofa and I want something, I call [my husband] Mark and make him get it.
Mark says, ‘Aren’t your legs working?’ and I’m like, ‘I’m not going to disturb Lola!’
She came on a family trip to the cinema last week and it was brilliant – my husband wasn’t expecting her but I couldn’t leave her at home! So she came along wearing pyjamas matching mine- we have matching jackets too.
I took a week off from work when Lola had her spaying operation, when Harry has a cold I’m just like, ‘Off you go then!’
Lola’s pampering treatments include hour long grooming sessions in which she is shampooed with premium pooch products. She is then given an aftercare brush and a trim if she needs it, all totalling a minimum of £150 a month.
My husbands view is happy wife, happy life- he knows where he comes in the pecking order- it goes Lola, Harry, him!
He’s agreed to Lola’s separate bank account and her allowance of 100 pounds a month for any bits she needs, I’d say we can think about increasing her allowance.
When Helena, heads off to her job in insurance, she packs her pooch off to a creche service where Lola gets to boast to other dogs and boast about her luxurious life.
She goes to creche for half a day a week, so she can meet other dogs. I took my son out of school so that we could go to the photographer at this special place where, instead of taking your children for a day out, you take your dog.
I would rather that Harry wasn’t able to spell ‘table’ when he’s 20, than have a gap in the family photo.
There was just no way I was doing it without Lola- she’s the centre of my life! I have a ‘Lola folder’ with thousands of pictures of her, and a special bike seat too.
Helena proudly added:
The bike seat is from America, and people always look when we cycle past and they’re like, ‘Oh my word, look it’s a dog on a bike!’
I am Lola’s groomer so I don’t spend money paying someone to groom her, but I am always buying her new shampoos.
I put a post up on Facebook asking if anyone wanted to help me pack all of Lola’s Christmas presents – but people say to me on Facebook, ‘Please can you stop posting all the things you get for Lola because my dog will want the same things!
The nation’s canines can expect to be showered with gifts, with owners typically spending £19.98 on their pets compared to just £14.78 on their best mates.
A survey of 2,000 pet owners by Animal Friends found that 71 per cent of pet owners plan to buy their animal an Xmas gift.
Helena described Lola’s unique dietary requirements:
Lola eats a raw feed diet, I order her food once a month and make a special trip to our favourite pet shop, where they have named Lola “Lady Lola” as they know how spoilt she is and how she’s treated.
In fact we make an outing of it when we go there – they make me a cup of tea, Harry plays in the sand they have there.
Lola will only eat out of one of her many pink fancy princess bowls – my friend was looking after her one day and went to give Lola her lunch from a clear plastic tub and Lola walked away from it!
My friend then put the food into one of her daughter’s pink bowls and Lola ate it!
Some mornings if Lola isn’t interested in her breakfast I will sit on the kitchen floor and spoon feed her to make sure she’s eaten as I hate to think of her being hungry while I’m out!
Helena has been inspired by the reactions that she gets from people about the top notch treatment with which she provides Lola, so she has started up her own pooch-pampering business, Lola’s parlour.
People say, ‘Our only worry of giving our dog to you is will we get it back?’ Because they know just how much I love my Lola!
I do love my Lola more than Harry – but don’t tell the papers that though!
Lola’s lavish style includes, but is not exclusive to: her very own bank account and monthly allowance, a special doggy pram, and a bike seat.
She also has an extensive wardrobe featuring matching outfits with mummy, weekly creche visit, trips to the cinema and special doggy days out.
There’s also a cooling personalised water spray for hot days with Lola’s name on it, and her special raw food gourmet diet.
And of course – there’s the matching Christmas jumpers.
A former emo kid who talks too much about 8Chan meme culture, the Kardashian Klan, and how her smartphone is probably killing her. Francesca is a Cardiff University Journalism Masters grad who has done words for BBC, ELLE, The Debrief, DAZED, an art magazine you’ve never heard of and a feminist zine which never went to print.