Demi Lovato Says ‘The Patriarchy Has Been Holding Me Back’

by : Niamh Shackleton on : 30 May 2021 14:49
Demi Lovato Says 'The Patriarchy Has Been Holding Me Back'Greenpeace USA/YouTube

Singer Demi Lovato has said that if they had listened to patriarchy, their life would have never changed.

Lovato recently announced that they were non-binary, which they said came after ‘a lot of healing and self-reflective work’ in a thread of tweets informing the world of their news.


They wrote on May 19, ‘Today is a day I’m so happy to share more of my life with you all – I am proud to let you know that I identify as non-binary & will officially be changing my pronouns to they/them moving forward.’

Lovato has since been applauded for their brave revelation, with many saying The Art of Starting Over singer is acting as a good role model for trans and queer children.

Demi Lovato at iHeartRadio Awards (PA)PA Images

In the wake of the news, Lovato has delved deeper into their decision to identify as non-binary while chatting to Jane Fonda on the Fire Drill Fridays livestream.


During the conversation, Lovato said that if they’d listened to patriarchy, they would probably be married to a man with children by now.

The singer said to Fonda, as per TooFab, ‘If I had listened to the patriarchy, my life would have never changed, my pronouns would have never changed. I probably would have been married to a man with kids doing the thing that I was raised to believe that I should do.’

They continued:

After years of living my life for other people, trying to make myself smaller for the patriarchy – they run the industry, they are at the centre of everything. When I realised that, I thought, ‘What are the ways that the patriarchy has been holding me back?’. And for me, it was putting me in a box telling [me], ‘You are a female, this is what you’re supposed to like, this is what you’re supposed to do, don’t dream bigger and don’t speak louder.’

Demi Lovato at Super Bowl (PA)PA Images

Lovato further dubbed her 2018 overdose as a ‘wake up call’. The singer suffered three strokes and a heart attack as a result of the incident three years ago, and nearly lost their life as a result.

They said, ‘I feel like the reason why that happened was because I was ignoring my truth, and I was suppressing who I really am in order to please stylists or team members or this or that, or even fans that wanted me to be the sexy, feminine pop star in the leotard and look a certain way, you know?’

Hats off to Demi for being their true self.


If you’ve been affected by any of these issues and want to speak to someone in confidence contact Mindline Trans+ on 0300 330 5468. The line is open 8pm–midnight Mondays and Fridays and is run by trans volunteers.

Most Read StoriesMost Read


Nicole Richie Sets Hair On Fire While Trying To Blow Out Birthday Candles

Niamh Shackleton

Niamh Shackleton is a pint sized person and journalist at UNILAD. After studying Multimedia Journalism at the University of Salford, she did a year at Caters News Agency as a features writer in Birmingham before deciding that Manchester is (arguably) one of the best places in the world, and therefore moved back up north. She's also UNILAD's unofficial crazy animal lady.

Topics: Celebrity, Demi Lovato, Non-binary, Now


  1. TooFab

    Demi Lovato On Coming Out As Non-Binary: 'The Patriarchy Has Been Holding Me Back'