Demi Lovato Slams Gender Reveal Parties, Branding Them ‘Transphobic’
Demi Lovato has slammed gender reveal parties, branding them ‘transphobic’ on social media.
The actress-singer took aim at the rising trend of families and friends gathering to reveal a baby’s gender, often with an explosion of pink or blue glitter or balloons, saying it’s ‘insincere’ to not see these parties as excluding trans people.
In a nine-page post on Instagram titled ‘Why Gender Reveals Are Transphobic’, originally penned by Alok Vaid-Menon, the 28-year-old encouraged her followers to share the information.
It reads, ‘It’s both insincere and incorrect to pretend that gender reveal parties are not transphobic. You can’t have your proverbial pink-blue binary cake and eat it too. This is not about political correctness, it’s just… correct. We condemn gender reveals not because of our identity, but because of reality.’
The post continues, ‘Transphobia is not just about prejudice against individual trans people, it’s also a way of thinking that understands non-trans people as more natural/organic and erases everyone else. These ideas, like the gender binary, fuel mistreatment of all people, but especially trans and gender non-conforming people.’
Lovato has already racked up nearly a quarter of a million likes, with people in the comments divided over whether this assessment of reveal parties is ‘too far’. One user wrote, ‘Baby girl most of parents just wanna celebrate that they’re having a baby. Not the gender of the baby.’
Alok argues that gender reveals all link back to the idea that ‘genitals = gender’ and how ‘boy or girl’ are the two default options. ‘This definition erases the fact that there are boys with vaginas and girls with penises and that there are people who are neither boys nor girls. The idea that sex is based on genitalia is inconsistent with science,’ it explains.
The post adds, ‘Gender reveals require not just the invalidation of transness, but the impossibility of transness. The assumption is that the baby is cis. Cisness is positioned as the default and everyone else is understood as derivative of it.’
It addresses the fact that trans people are often assumed to have identified as trans later in life, but were ‘originally born cis… when in truth, everyone is just born. And we all become after the fact. Even though we might have grown accustomed to other people gendering us, that doesn’t make it right. Only individuals can determine their own gender’.
As the post draws to a close, Alok notes how reveal parties ‘uphold the gender binary and the binary prevents people from observing reality. Instead, it offers culturally and historically determined norms (for example: pink used to be considered a masculine color) as personhood’.
It concludes, ‘People are taught to experience themselves and one another as ideas of how they should be, not the reality of what they are and what is… the irony is that trans and gender non-conforming people are accused of advancing a gender ideology, when it fact we are trying to escape it.’
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